Roll Call! We haven't done this...

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
Roll Call! We haven't done this...
87
Sun, 08-06-2006 - 3:46pm

in a while! Lurkers, please come out of hiding, too. Anything you want to share...age, location, kids (if any) and how far you are along in the divorce process.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2006
Tue, 08-22-2006 - 6:51pm
I'm Erica, I'm from MA and I've been married for one year and almost 2 months. I've dated my husband for 10 years, so we were just babies. I just joined ivillage because I am currently considering spliting from my husband because I have been miserable from the beginning.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2006
Tue, 08-22-2006 - 10:06pm

Hi~ Im 23 and live on the west coast..my STBX and I were married for 2 1/2 years, but together for a total of 5 years, no children. I havent been separated for very long, only 1 month. He was verbally and emotionally abusive, I just never saw it because he had me believing that I was always at fault. I moved out while he was out of town because I couldn't leave while he was there; he had threatened suicide by pointing a gun in his mouth and making me watch so I never had the courage to leave him. I will be filing by the end of the week, hoping it will be over ASAP, because I dont want anything from him, no alimony, no posessions except my personal belongings. I will be graduating with my finance degree soon and hope to move on with my life. I do feel guilty sometimes for my decision and worry about if he is okay. He says he will change but I dont believe him one bit, which is why I don't want to even try to work this out.

I just joined this board today, it was exactly what I was looking for. Thanks for being around.

Good Luck to everyone and hugs to all!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2005
Tue, 08-22-2006 - 10:46pm

I'm GT. Been with the same man since I was nineteen. Have three daughters, 22, 20 and 12 -- all of them his. I want to leave but am afraid of what he would do if I did.

I am the breadwinner basically. I make 4 times what he does. He is emotionally and verbally abusive and has been violent in the past. (broken windshields, strangulation etc). He has mellowed a lot since I became more assertive and since everything is in my name (since I earned it and we never "officially" got married), but I just don't think I love him anymore and can you blame me?

I lurk here mainly. Post very infrequently. I guess I am just waiting until the time is right to disappear. I will have to be gone a while or he will do something drastic.

In the meantime I guess I don't have a bad life. I read this board because one day I WILL be free. In the meantime I am raising my youngest daughter -- bascially alone. My two oldest daughters both graduated college and have great lives, so I know I am a good mom.

We lead separate lives. He is into drugs and has friends I don't associate with or approve of. I have my daughter, my dogs and my own life. We don't really "do" anything together. Occasionally has has "fits" (probably due to his drug use) and my daughter and I hide in my bedroom or if it gets really bad we leave.

I just made a bad choice a long time ago, and now it will take time to get away.

Maybe I don't belong here, since I never "married" him, but I have been with him over 20 years and reading your stories gives me hope. In a way marriage would be easier. I could "officially" divorce him. But I wouldn't marry him just to divorce him.

Just let me know if I don't "fit" in. I do also read the domestic violence board and that helps as well.

GT.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 08-22-2006 - 11:23pm

Welcome to the board!


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2006
Wed, 08-23-2006 - 11:14am
I'm Brittany in Central CA. I have 5 children. I've been a stay at hom mom for 10 yrs. I'm currently in college working towards degree to be a RN. My husband after 11 yrs of marriage actually 12 since our anniversary was this past weekend decided he didn't want to be married anymore. He loves and cherishes me but isn't in love with me anymore. We've been separated for 4 months now. He has told me that he filed for divorce but I haven't been served yet.

Brittany (Mom2FiveDrews)


Kiana "The Basketball Star" 11 years old


Vanessa & Jazmine "The Twins" 9 years old


Olivia "The Princess" 3 years old


Isaac "The Prince"

Brittany "MomtofiveDrews"

Kiana "Hooprincess" 13 yrs old

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2000
Thu, 08-24-2006 - 8:32pm
My name is Bridget, I'm 32 I live in Colorado. I still live with STBX. My divorce will be final on Sept 26. I have two daughters Jarika 13, and Jourdan 11. We had our ups and downs, but we have been doing OK now. I'm not sure where we go after the D date. It will be 90 days, everything was agreed, we split everything and cofiled, but he has been an ass at times. Hope everyone is doing well, I'm a lurker, but I appreciate everyones post it help me out in the beginning, through the tears and emotions. Thank you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-20-2006
Fri, 08-25-2006 - 12:00am
I'm Stacey, 44 years old from Southern California. Married 18 years and have three kids ages 12, 10 & 7. Haven't started official proceedings as yet but in the works. Have been a SAHM since the birth of my first and am now "back in the saddle" of looking for work (happily though...it's time). Rough waters ahead but I'm buckling in tightly and ready for the ride. My best to you all. Love this message board!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Fri, 08-25-2006 - 8:33am

Welcome to the board Bridget!


I vacationed in Breckenridge this summer.... wonderful area of Colorado!



Karen ~ wildlucky4me

Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2004
Mon, 08-28-2006 - 2:12pm

I'm 39, married for 15 yrs and asked my husband for a divorce a few weeks ago. He thinks I'm joking and isn't taking it seriously. Neither of us can afford the house on our own so I'm stuck in the guest room until he agrees to sell the house. the housing market here sucks so I'm sure this is going to drag on for a long time.
We have a 5 1/2 yr old son.

He's really not that bad of a guy, if he was this would be a lot easier. He does the dishes and helps clean and spends time with our son. Its just a loveless marriage and I'm tired of being with someone who just doesn't seem to love me. There is absolutely no affection, he doesn't kiss me, he's never sent me flowers, never bought me a gift, and is just thoghtless in a lot of ways. He's also got a lot of anger and yells quite a bit.

I'm very depressed and he keeps making snide comments about how I wont be able to make it on my own. now I'm beginning to think it would just be easier if I stayed. Just found this forum today, makes me feel better seeing there are so many people in similar situations.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-2006
Mon, 08-28-2006 - 3:17pm

Hi!

Just joined today. My name is Sam, I am 22, and have a 16 month old daughter. Born and raised in California. Been seperated from my husband for about 4 months now, and have been trying to settle the divorce agreeably and quietly...but apparently he doesn't feel this is the right way to handle it, and decided to hire a laywer. Now it gets messy, I suppose.

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