roller coaster part of healing process??
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roller coaster part of healing process??
| Tue, 05-20-2008 - 7:51pm |
I have been a mess emotionally this past week. Seems to be the more contact I have with STBX, the worse it is. He's such a manipulating person (personality disorder for sure), and when I am emotionally drained, I question myself. Our DS has cancelled his wisdom teeth removal appointment this upcoming weekend b/c he doesnt have the money. I feel bad that I can't help him, but I am so strapped for cash it's crazy. So I phone my STBX and tell him his son won't be in town this weekend (and why), and he automatically offers to pay for the bill. (Why I phoned him, I'm not sure..part of the meltdown) So typically him offering to pay, but he probably won't pay the bill. Been a difficult week for me...I know he is contacting me b/c he is worried that if his court sentencing comes up, he has no place to go, so he is buttering me up to come back up here. I need to remain strong, and I do thank you girls for ALL your support!! I'll keep you posted.

Stay strong HDLover! Try to remember that taking him in, even temporarily, will likely set you back in the healing process. I have weaker moments also...esp when I have contact with alcoholic H....Hang in there!
I understand completely.
Hang in there.
I appreciate the support. I feel stronger today :) YAY!! My son and his g/f are coming home tomorrow, so looking forward to that!
I feel exactly like you, my STBX left the house one and a half months ago and has shown no interest in fixing things, this makes me angry and I say to myself I am too valuable for him, but there are days when I feel deep down I want him back, I shake my head and I said to myself, "you know he is not coming back, he has to give up too many things and he doesn't love you anymore, so move on" but it is still difficult. My heart aches and I want him to love me, I KNOW time will help us all, and I am sure God will watch over me and put me in the right path without him, but IT IS SO HARD.
I also have children and sometimes is so hard to keep my "happy mom" face in front of them all the time, I tried to keep busy, I take medication, I go to counseling, I read
It has to get better as time goes on, and as all the posts advise, the less contact with the STBX the better. We do deserve better than what we have had in the past, and I am having a good day :) It's one day at a time though, as it is with many of us here. It is very hard, and I too, put my faith in God's hands, he has dealt me this deck for a reason (just don't know what it is yet). Just remember that only YOU can make YOU happy. This is a great place to vent/ask questions/or give advice!! Although I have only been on here for a few months, there are amazing people here who have some really good insight into what we are all going through. There is always someone who has gone through a similar situation to our own, and I encourage you to post, and seek support! Be strong...