Ruining Another Life
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Ruining Another Life
| Fri, 06-08-2007 - 11:09am |
I feel like I am destroying my husband. I left (last night was the first night in the new place) because he has been very irresponsible with money for years, plus he drinks and gets mean. I have talked to him the last couple of evenings and it seems like he is on the verge of a nervous breakdown. This guy is very dependent on me emotionally. He wants me everywhere he goes. He is very considerate and thinks the world of me. There are good aspects to the relationship, but the pressure of the bad parts was overhelming. I was telling him - if he can pay the bills for the next 3 months, I would come back. He is saying, if I move it is over. If I stay he will try harder to be responsible. The guilt of watching him crumble is destroying me.

gal
i have lived this reoccuring nightmare for the past 5 years. my stbx was very irresponsible with money, could not hold a job, is an alcoholic. i tried, i stuck it out, i took care of everything, until our home went to foreclosure and i faced the reality of living on the street with my two children. BUT OH how he loved me. couldn't live without me. he too was on the verge of an emotional breakdown.
repeat after me:
i cannot control h's drinking
i cannot make him be responsible with money
i can only be accountable for myself.
i begged stbx last august to go with me to mc. he said, if we needed mc, then the m was over. and so it is.
i felt so guilty after i left, then he turned into a bigger @hole than i could possibly imagine. my guilt turned to anger, then to extreme dislike.
stay the course. if he is an alcoholic and gets help and can really turn his life around, good for you. if not, know your boundries and your limitations.
what