Rumors are getting the best of me...
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| Thu, 05-04-2006 - 11:29am |
I was told that the OW is pregnant. My stbx says it's not true and that he intends to get to the bottom of it and get the truth. Supposedly they aren't seeing each other anymore....however, last Monday they were together.
I can't help but want to know the truth! This is eating me alive...I just want him to walk away from this woman and for her not to be pregnant. I don't want him back, I have "drawn the line", however, I just can't imagine this woman being in our lives forever because she has my daughters sibling.
I feel like if my stbx got involved with anyone else but this person I wouldn't be so upset.
I just don't know how to deal with these rumors and my stbx's constant lies. Even today he lied to me about asking one of their co-workers if it was true. I caught him in the lie and he said he wasn't going to give me a straight answer until I told him who told me the rumor. I honestly don't know the "original" source. Rumors in the military spread like wild fire and all I can say is that my friend heard it from one of my stbx's co-workers. We all live in the same community so it's pretty easy for rumors to start.
I just don't know what to make of my stbx's response to the situation. Why would he actually go to her work and try to find out the answer since he's still denying to the military that they had sex?! I think he's continueing to lie to me.
He's probably trying to tell me what he thinks I want to hear.
Thanks for letting me vent!

(((((((((((Just))))))))))))
You know why he is lying...his career is on the line that's why. He is a cheater Just.
Peace,
Di
***If you cannot define yourself, your circumstances will.***
okay so here is the real deal! you are obviously stressed out and understand the military way of life, but let me give you some insight to a few things! being a military wife myself it isn't always best to keep pushing for information b/c what you don't know can save you! this whole thing may be messing with your emotions a tad bit, but the real question here is who are you more mad at...him, or you? okay him b/c he supposedly cheated on you, or you for not keeping up with him. let's face it...it isn't the man who ruins his career it is the wife b/c we all know that if the military wanted thier men to have wives they would have issued them one! keep in mind too that if you continue to push for information and continue to listen to all the rumors it will mess with his career and then in turn you will mess with your future! after all ask yourself what it is that you truly continue to stick around for...love?
I have been part of that firey ring and let me tell you rumors and the military all go hand and hand for the sole reason that no one in the military knows how to grow up, but once they are taken to the ground via rumors, conviction, and SLANDER they learn how to grow up real quick...then they get even! My very strong suggestion to you is to deal with the hurt and pain that comes with divorce and if he cheated...oh well...his loss...right?...turn walk away and find what you need to make you happy in life! you see that firey ring of rumors in the military will only turn more painful and more ugly (especially if you keep pushing for answers), and the only thing that will come out of it is more lies and you getting hurt even more...WALK AWAY FROM THE VOICES!!!!!
I've had a crappy day but it has gotten better since 5pm. My stbx wouldn't answer my calls(b/c his SIL told him to cut off contact with me, lovely huh?)....so I text him and spitefully said, "Forget it, go be with your girlfriend and baby and leave us alone". He called me back instantly and I hung up, he called again and I hung up. Then he called at 9pm (before my daughters bedtime) and I handed her the phone and said "It's your daddy" and let her talk to him and when they were done I hung up.
I can actually enjoy some down time now because I didn't have WW3 with stbx at the bedtime phone call. Which is usually what happens.
I'm going to continue to take the advice that I should do the no contact thing while I'm getting though this.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
GOOD FOR YOU!!!!!!!! Don't answer his calls, if he needs something regarding your daughter, he can just leave you a message. Definatly let your daughter answer the phone when he calls, but just be careful that he doesn't try to relay messages through her. That is one of the WORST things that could happen. Having your child as a messanger can be quite damaging so don't let him do it. And, the worst thing that I get sucked into is text arguments!!! LOL! I am AWFUL about that!!! But, if you must argue with him (we all know how fighting back can be like the urge to breathe sometimes!!!) at least you have a record of whatever was said on your phone. For example, I asked STBX to get the boys this evening b/c I have to work late b/c a co-worker has the flu (part of my job description as a peak-time employee is to fill-in when needed). He doesn't have a job right now so it's not like he has to work. He said no, he had "plans" (probably a party with The Skank). I texted back, asked him to be reasonable, that my job/paycheck was more important than any social committment and I cancelled a lot of things when he was working b/c he always had last minute changes and I never complained. What was his reply?? F*** YOU!!!! I'm NOT getting them!!!! I HAVE PLANS!!!! Yeah, my lawyer will be seeing those!!! LOL
I pretty much ONLY talk to stbx by text messages anymore just so that I'll have a record of what is said. Why on earth did we marry these morons??? His little homewrecking Skank can have him. Any woman that would have a man that is married with a child is obviously a loser with some major self-worth issues. *hugs*
Thanks for the advice. My stbx is ready to write both my dd and I off so I'm not too worried about what any court will think at this point, however, I do want to live a healthy life and rumors don't help do that.
My daughter and I are doing better already and we've only been gone a week. I haven't spoken to my stbx in about 12 hours (major accomplishment for me!). He emailed me today saying that we needed to discuss a few things via email....I'll respond when I'm sure of what I should write...he obviously wants it all in writing for a reason.
Take care.