Sad today
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Sad today
| Fri, 07-14-2006 - 7:53pm |
Today has been a hard day for me. The kids are at there dads and I found out my stbx is dating someone and he moved more of his stuff out today. We seperated in April but he left most of his stuff behind. Just can not believe he has moved on this fast. It was bad for 6 years and I wanted this too but I cann't even think about someone else yet. It makes me feel like I just didn't matter at all. Has anyone else felt this way?

Sure... many of us have been right where you are... right now... and we've gotten through it and you will too...
One thing I would suggest, as my now xh moved out and then moved his stuff out very slowly over way too many months, is to get him to get his stuff out by x date or you will sell it at a yard sale/donate it to good will or something... if he's out, he's out and one of the hardest things I had to deal with during our separation was knowing xh had moved things out today, but not knowing what I would come home to and find missing... it is a rough adjustment, but if you only have to do it once more, it will be easier, at least in hte long run...
As for me, xh is getting married in October and I haven't really started dating yet... it will happen in time, but I'm just not ready for the complications that can come when others are involved... my life has enough drama being a mom of a 4 year old...
Good luck!
*hugs*
Julie
Hang in there, beachgirl, it will get better. I felt exactly like you do when my stbx moved out of our house and immediately in with a new woman. It wasn't so much that he had a new woman, but I felt replaced when the kids were going to spend weekends with the two of them and doing family things together with my ex's mother.
What I have found to be very helpful is focusing on establishing MY new life. Julie is absolutely right that he needs to get all of his stuff out of your place quickly. Then you can focus on making the house your own. Although it can be very difficult, try to worry about yourself (and your kids if you have them) and not what your ex is doing. It will only eat you up inside.
Good... I'm glad to hear there is an end in sight... that was definitely a hard part, just never knowing what would be gone this time, I'm sure you know where I'm coming from...
You will have up days and down days... up times and down times and that's OK... there are times I feel so busy its hard to tell what end is up, let alone try to figure out what to do with the time I have... as you notice something you like, start bringing things in now... one of the things I was happiest to bring back were pictures of me and my friends, that had been packed up in boxes by xh at some point... just having pictures of friends, many of which are out of state and many hours away, made me feel more at peace...
Wishing you a day full of peace...
Julie
I know it doesn't seem that way right now, but with time, these feelings will diminish. One morning you'll wake up, be most of the way through your day, and realize you haven't thought of your ex and his gf even once! For now, allow yourself to feel bad for a portion of the day. Give it 20 minutes....say twice a day. But that's it! And after a week, only allow 10 minutes, etc.
You will get through this, I promise.