SAHM- looking to divorce!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2004
SAHM- looking to divorce!
3
Sat, 09-06-2008 - 12:03pm

Hi Everyone,


I am a SAHM to two small children.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2006
Sat, 09-06-2008 - 5:00pm

SAHM,


Hi. Welcome to the board. We hope you find support and advice that you can use.


First things first, you need a plan. Changing one's maritial status is complex. It requires lots of changes and those changes usually run head long into our priorities and our values.


Plans start with research. That means using the phone, internet, newspaper, etc. to find out things like:



  • What kind of housing is available to you with or without government assistance?

  • How do you apply for government assistance? (Are you even eligible?)

  • What kind of job skills do you have? (What do you need to learn?)

  • What type of child care is available, where is it, and what does it cost?

You can "project" all you want to but the truth is you need facts to fill out a plan. It will help empower you to make choices to change your life. The thing is, it won't happen in one day, six weeks, or maybe six months. It takes time.


I think it would be foolish of you to launch yourself without forethought and a plan. You don't state why you want a divorce but whatever the reason have you given thought to how you want to live beyond - away from my husband - and how you can achieve that goal?


If you reason for wanting a divorce is so you can "grow" or be "independent" then I suspect you can do those things while still married. It means you'll have to be willing to allow others to care for your children for some part of a day or the week so you can go back to school, work, or get the education you need to be independent.


I'd also advise you to visit with an experienced divorce attorney to learn your rights and responsibilities in the event you do file for divorce. You'll want to enter this process with your eyes open and prepared to deal with what it means to be divorced.


Good luck.


CL-Wisdomtooth2020

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Sat, 09-06-2008 - 6:14pm

I have never been

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2004
Sat, 09-06-2008 - 8:10pm

Thank you to both of you for the advice.


I do have a degree and some experience to fall back on, it's just this darn economy - there aren't a lot of jobs in my field.