scared being alone but cant stay
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| Mon, 03-17-2008 - 7:20pm |
Hi
My husband and I have been together for 7 years but married for 10 months. I know this may sound weird but we fought more than we ever have once we got married. At our wedding he kissed me one time and he acted like he didn't want to be there. Had the nerve to say 2 weeks later that we shouldn't had got married and it was my wedding and not the way he wanted. He is not romantic at all and doesn't spend any time with me. Blames me for everything that is going wrong in his life. All we do is argue about money, call each other names, and dont spend any time together. He shows no affection towards me what so ever. Only time he kisses me is when its time for sex......and thats every blue moon because hes treating me which is turning me off. Hes the reason i have a low sex drive. theirs no passion, romance, 4-play, sex is always the usual boring.....he get his and turns over and go to sleep. I know that most marriages end over finances.......but ours is going to end for several reasons.....finances.......sex......and communication.. I keep telling him how i feel and he says i'm the one that needs help and refuses counseling. I feel like i'm the only one in this marriage and i'm tired of pretending everything is alright when all we're doing is making each other miserable....after this weekend i truly believe this man wants to be by himself. Instead of spending time with me......he went out to the club with his friends....yet all im good for is him sitting in the house watching movies with me all day. He doesn't treat me like a wife and i deserve better. We act more like roommates. I know he aint happy and neither am i. Our lease is up in Aug but i can't see myself renewing another lease or making any large purchases with him right now because i got myself out of any debt with him last year. And yes i keep asking myself why did we get married....people don't change over night but for us it was a building process...seems like each year things got worse and right before we got married things were okay and then once we got married all hell broke lose. I think we both settled for each other. We don't have any kids together. I don't have any family or friends here and never lived on my own........but i rather live on my own than to be miserable. I was thinking about a separation but i know once we separate that i'm going to move forward with the divorce. I just don't wanna give up on my marriage that easily......but the problems have been going on for years.

You might not be able to get him to go to counseling, but even if you do you can't expect him to change.