Seeking advice re: STBX's family

Avatar for cmckinn
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2003
Seeking advice re: STBX's family
2
Thu, 09-14-2006 - 11:18pm

I have no family in this area. My closest relative is 4 hours away. STBX, however, has tons of family in the area. Needless to say, since we've been married 20 years, I am close to all of these people. STBX has told several of them that he won't go to family gatherings if I am there. Needless to say, this makes me feel like he's trying to blackball me and like he's trying to get everyone else to take sides. Everyone I talk to says he should get over it and deal with it. They all want to see me. It's quite devastating to me to feel I might not be included in the future. Anyway things are coming to a head. There's a family picnic this Sunday and he didn't come right out and say "don't go", but he alluded to it. The person organizing the party knows his feelings, but has invited both of us anyway. Has anyone faced this situation before? Do I just give up because it's his family? As I said, it's devastating to me. And, by the way, this is the man who says he still wants to stay together!

Thanks for any suggestions,
Carole

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Fri, 09-15-2006 - 9:11am

Well..... if I want to see or communicate with EX's family, I do it at a time when he's not expected to be at a family function.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

Avatar for cmckinn
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2003
Fri, 09-15-2006 - 1:30pm

Thanks for the feedback, Karen. I guess I am just afraid of losing those relationships. I will have to do some soul searching to figure out my feelings better and think about the best way to handle them. I do appreciate getting your point of view, since you have "been there, done that".

Thanks,
Carole