Separation
Find a Conversation
Separation
| Wed, 07-26-2006 - 11:53am |
My husband and I have had problems for a good year now. I asked him to move out last Summer and he asked to come back in November. Everything was good but now it is back to the same old stuff. We had a situation last Summer that left me feeling betrayed and horrible about myself. To say the least without writing a novel. We made a mutual decision to "share with friends" to say the least. It was the most horrible situation I have ever been in but I did agree to it. After I said I was not comfortable with it and asked it to stop I found out he had a phone relationship (at the least) with this other woman. I confronted her and asked her to stop calling him. She continued and he finally asked her to stop. That was it and we have not seen or talked to our good friends in a year. They eneded up divorced because she was running around on him and lying and there are even reports of fraud. We heard this information from a friend who saw our ex-friend. Anyway, when we were separated last year we got along very well. We (me and DH) went out and spent time together and continued a sexual relationship. This time around he has continued to be disrespectful to me and brushes me aside to hang with friends and drink. We have a daughter that is preschool age. I feel like he is getting away (like a vacation to him) and he will ask to come back in a few months. This time he has asked me if I think we should wear our rings. I told him if we wanted to we would. I wanted to because we are still married. He said he got a lot of questions last year as to why he was still wearing it if we were separated. Then he asked me if he acidentally slept with someone else during our separation if that would be a determining factor for me to ask for a divorce. I told him yes. He thinks he can 'have his cake and eat it too'. He also told me if I don't continue a sexual relationship with him he will find it elsewhere. But he hasn't asked for a divorce. Does this make any sense? I feel now with these questions and threats it is time to move on with a divorce. I need some advice!

Based on the information you've shared, it absolutely sounds like it's time for your marriage to dissolve. Was it the best idea to involve other people in your relationship while things were on shaky ground? Probably not. But I am in no position to judge....I've made some BIG mistakes myself!