Separation Agreement?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2005
Separation Agreement?
6
Fri, 03-03-2006 - 7:03am

My husband of 7 years has asked for a divorce for the second time in a year and is really going through with it this time.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
Fri, 03-03-2006 - 9:05am

Your first and best defense is to go see an attorney. They will go over everything with you line by line - from assets to custody, child support to alimony...etc. With a good lawyer, they generally leave no stone unturned.

However, I have heard of several divorcing couples going through divorce mediation with great success (I tried a couple of sessions...wasn't for me). They are also very thorough. However, in my experience with it, I felt there was a BIG imbalance of power, and I was going to be taken advantage of, so I decided not to go that route. But that was me personally.

Either way, consulting an attorney is your best first move. Most of them will give free or low-cost initial consultations, just so you can get your questions answered.

Other than that, how are you holding up through all this? I know it's such a tough time.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Fri, 03-03-2006 - 9:41am

Hi there.... glad you found us (but sorry you're here).


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2006
Tue, 03-07-2006 - 9:52pm
Hi Crystal.....Well I am pretty much going thru the same thing. my husbad is also a marine, and he has been cheating on me the past 3 months, and possibly did with a female marine when he was deployed to Iraq in 2005. He STILL is trying to hook up with this other girl, who is...well lets just say "she gets around" I am sickened by all that is going on. We have a 20 month old daughter together, and it's only NOW that he wants to start being a "daddy" to her. I went to base legal and got the "separatin agreement" everytime I look at it it rips my heart out. AND we won't be able to do the agreement til he gets back from his work-up next week. I am just praying he won't screw over my daughter and I, cause he always did throw the paycheck in my face, that it was HIS. There is just so much, that i don't know what to do. I don't have the cheating on tape, but I have talked to the one girl, and printed out text messages, and emails from the others...doesn't seem to be enough for the good ol USMC. I mean yes, i would love to see him get his...but at the same time it just hurts so bad.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2014
Tue, 03-07-2006 - 11:55pm

Hi Crystal,

I found tons of information on this website: www.divorcenet.com/military . I did a lot of research before I went to a lawyer. I went to the base legal office where we live and they were absolutely no help. They just gave me a referral number. I ended up getting a 30 minute appt. with a civilian lawyer and had to pay $40. I typed up all the questions I had and printed it up and took it to my appt. so that I could take advantage of the limited time of the appt. The lawyer was very helpful and able to answer every question, but was extremely expensive to retain. I started looking into doing our own divorce and checked out some books at the library with tons of information.

I don't know where you live, but I live in VA, not far from DC. I found out that some military installations around here will do the settlement agreement for free, as long as both parties agree completely about everything. I went to a Marine base for some more advice, and got a lot of advice from a female military lawyer. She gave me the 18-page settlement agreement that we will have to fill out. It's very thorough, yet easy to fill out. I read somewhere that you want to make sure you have 3 notarized copies, one for the husband, one for the wife, and one for filing the divorce.

Good luck!

Carol

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2005
Wed, 03-08-2006 - 11:47am

Military divorce is a unique situation as far as legal aid goes...if you use the base legal you have to file "no-fault" or "uncontested"...you have to agree on all terms and if you don't then you can't use the base legal.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2005
Wed, 03-08-2006 - 11:53am

Thanks for the info.