Separation help
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Separation help
| Mon, 06-25-2007 - 2:20pm |
My husband and I have been married for 21 years, and I have asked for a separation. Lots of verbal abuse from his end, and we have grown apart. We are still living in the same house, and he wants to share a common apt., so that our kids can stay in their house (which I want as well), and we will revolve in and out of the house on a 50/50 basis. Has anyone tried this? I personally don't think it will work because of his heavy work schedule.
Any advice is appreciated! :)
Thanks.......

Real quick because I have to run.
It is called "nesting" and they think it is admirable, especially if you have younger children and you and your X can be cooperative and collaborative.
They also say that it is fair shakes to the parents -- gives them an idea of how disruptive it is to children's development/lives to have to shuttle between houses. Adults should be better equiped to handle this disruption than their kids.
As to whether it is practical in your situation -- that I can't. It is most certainly worth a try.
I would do more reading about it and maybe talk it through with a professional.
GL and good for you for thinking of the kids.
M
Thanks for your input everyone! My children are 15 1/2 and 12, so they are a bit older, and I think the separation will be hard, but a relief in a way. Its important to me that they stay in their home, and I am willing to give this a try. Not sure how we will afford an extra place (I am a stay at home mom at the moment for the summer). I will definitely have to go back to work full-time, which is ok with me. All the financial stuff is very very scary to me...... my whole life is going to change.
It has been so hard, emotionally, because I am the one asking for the separation. I feel its in my best interest, and the kids best interest. We tried counseling, and it didn't work. My husband is so angry with me, calling me a quitter, (we have been married for 21 years - I don't call that quitting!!) and he is painting me out to be the bad guy in front of the kids. He is very very immature. I could go on for days about the mental and verbal abuse I have sustained. There are days when I feel so weak, and feel like I just don't have the energy to make the split and live out there on my own. Then there are days where I feel very empowered. Its a rough road....