Seperation affect kids? Will it be OK?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2007
Seperation affect kids? Will it be OK?
3
Fri, 09-28-2007 - 8:27pm
I posted on another message board but I have now concluded that our issues are far greater then what speculation can reveal. I want a separation. I think that it would be better to have space to sort through all that we are going through. There is too much anger and resentment from the past. We fight all the time!!! My concern is my children. We have 4 super kids, 2 daughters ages 15 and 17 and 2 young children, ages 2 and 4. I did watch the Oprah episode and am so afraid of scarring my children for life. Neither me nor my husband have divorced parents. I can't bear the thought of hurting my babies. I am here for them, not good enough reason I know. Can anyone tell me about their situations? Do I stay for the children and remain unhappily married (my H sleeps in another room and we dont talk) or do we separate in hopes that we can work through this? I would keep the children with me and may have to move out with them since H won't leave. What are your experiences? PLEASE PLEASE RESPOND!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-10-2007
Sat, 09-29-2007 - 1:02am
I think that living in an enviornment like that is not normal. They are still holding on to the hope that you are going to work this out. My kids are pretty ok since our seperation. THey really seem to be no worse for the wear. They knew deep down that this was going to happen and especially the older ones are more at peace knowing exactly what is going to happen. I think fear of the unknown was worse for them. I hope this helps, do what is best for you be honest with them and make sure they know you love them and that it is not their fault and things will work out. They may have a hard time adjusting but time heals all wounds and as long as you keep all the lines of communication open and be honest with them they will make it
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2007
Sat, 09-29-2007 - 9:50am
Thank you so much. I hurt for them but you are right I am giving them false hope.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 10-01-2007 - 10:22am

Le me ask you this.... do you think that having unhappy parents that sleep in separate rooms is NOT affecting your kids?


Although I was the one who told our children.... separetely, I did almost every other thing outlined on Oprah's show.... being supportive... listening to the kids, and assuring them they they'd still have both of us in their lives.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~