Setting up visitation schedules?...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2004
Setting up visitation schedules?...
2
Mon, 03-14-2005 - 12:14pm

I have another question... h does not seem to want to set up any kind of visitation schedule.

Here's a small bit of the history of the last two weeks:

The first week we were out of the house he kept asking when he'd get to see ds, and threatened that no judge in his right mind would ever award me custody... DS was a bit afraid of his dad at the time... after the way we left the house... and didn't want to talk to him or see him. It finally took a round robin of h's mom calling my dad who called me... who called her who called... etc. etc. She was threatening to go to court for some emergency custody thing (not gonna happen)... then finally suggested a visitation schedule. H agreed to the schedule at first, then insisted that he wouldn't sign anything. Anyway... h's mom agreed to pick up ds from a meeting point, and then I'd pick him up at the meeting point after dinner. DS got to visit with his grandparents, his great grandmother, cousins... and also his dad, who apologized for scaring him and promised not to do it again.

So... when I talked to h on the phone last Thursday I asked if he wanted to have ds for the day on Saturday, or after church on Sunday. H was very non-committal about it, so I said to think about it and let me know the next day. He didn't call me until 9:30 on Friday... I missed the call and called him back at 10:30pm... and left a message since he didn't answer. I didn't hear from him on Saturday at all, and on Sunday he left a message on my cell phone in the middle of church. When I called him back he said he wanted to see ds, and that his mom wanted to see him too. I said I'd drop him off around 2pm, and wanted to know if he'd drop ds off after dinner, or whether I'd have to go pick him up. H didn't know... maybe his mom would drop him off. Well, when I dropped ds off at the house at 2:30, I asked if I should come back to pick him up, or if h would drop him off... he didn't know. So I had to ask again... and again... well, he'd drop him off. When?... he didn't know... so I asked 5pm?... 7pm?... 8pm?... oh... he guessed about 7pm. Fine.

A few minutes before 7 I got a call that they were almost at my mom's house (where we've been staying). I met them outside. H gave ds a hug and a kiss and then simply said goodby to me. Before he got back into the car I asked if he wanted to pick up ds from school and take him for dinner and Tuesday... and his response was that he'll call me when he wants to get ds.

He doesn't seem amenable to setting up any kind of a schedule... I almost wonder if it was his mom who pushed for him to get ds yesterday. He says he wont sign anything (he wants a "gentleman's agreement"... yeah, right... ) but also wants me to cancel the court date for custody.

I'm not sure what to do?... Do I call h's mother?

Any suggestions would be appreciated!

Phoenix

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2005
Mon, 03-14-2005 - 3:53pm
Wow, that sounds kinda twisted. How old is your DS? It seems like some one is trying to use him. Is that really fair to him (DS) to be "on call". DS has a life; you have a life. Sadly, when the parents don't live in the same house, schedules have to be made. It sounds like you are doing everything you can to be accomadating to your XH so they can continue to have a relationship. Signing something would protect everyone.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 03-15-2005 - 4:27pm

I would stick to dealing with HIM if possible, of course you also want his family to see DS, too.


Document, document, document!!!!!


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~