settlement

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2001
settlement
2
Wed, 01-17-2007 - 12:59pm

Hello everyone! I am writing to ask for advice on how to approach my ex on getting our divorce, marriage settlement and custody agreements finalized. We have been separated for 2 years and I filed for divorce a little over a year ago. We have half a custody agreement, but otherwise nothing else has been completed. I have all but given up on my attorny at this point because he stopped returning my calls (I assume he now wants more money, which I do not have).

I realize that divorces often take years to be completed, but enough is enough, and I feel like I need to do something to push this along. I am not sure how to approach my ex so that he will be understanding and not rip my head off. I am 99% sure he does NOT want to get back together with me (he has a girlfriend who he loves), so my only guess to what is holding him back is the division of assets. In reality that isn't much, since I am willing to let him have basically everything EXCEPT I want him to buy me out of the house we owned together. And considering we were only in the house 2 years before I left, the amount of money he would owe me is not a lot.

What is really pushing me right now is that our daughter will be starting kindergarten next school year. I currenly rent an apartment, and it is a decent place to live, but I am obviously not going to be here forever. I would like to move into something more permanent so our daughter can start school and hopefully be in a good school district, where she can stay at least throughout elementary school. I really want to buy something, since housing costs are so low and renting year after year is a waste of money. I cannot afford anything decent without the settlement money to use as a downpayment. My ex is very money-centered and I suspect he is going to assume I just want to take all his money and go on vacation or do something frivilous with it just to spite him. Anyone dealt with a man like this before?

Sorry if this is a lot of unneccesary information, but I want to try and get this out sooner than later, so it can be done faster! Thanks in advance!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
In reply to: krelle81
Wed, 01-17-2007 - 6:04pm

Most realtors will do a comparative market analysis on the home for free as it is against real estate laws in most states for them to charge unless they are licensed property appraisers.

Peace,

Di

***If you cannot define yourself, your circumstances will.***

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2005
In reply to: krelle81
Wed, 01-17-2007 - 9:13pm

I'm not sure what advice to give you, but I was getting nowhere as well with my STBX. Since we weren't getting anywhere with the two bonehead attorneys, I got a mediator involved. He couldn't even get my STBX to cooperate! I told the attorney enough is enough I want it over with. She then set a date for "permanent orders" (in other words, divorce), which means we go to court (in March) and the judge will settle it since I can't seem to come to any kind of settlement with him. My atty hasn't been the best, probably because she hasn't been paid in a long time. However, she knows she'll be paid when the money is released from the sale of the house and what's left of our savings. You may want to try to get a hold of your atty to tell him/her to set a permanent orders date so that you can bring closure and so that he/she can get paid. Otherwise, I see it dragging on and on.

I feel your pain, believe me, because it'll be two years for me this summer that the papers were filed (and HE filed on me and is still dragging his feet!!!). It'll be a day of celebration when it's all over.

I don't think divorces often take years...I think most of them are finished within a year's time, so you and I have definitely paid our dues.

I AM COUNTING DOWN THE WEEKS TO MARCH 13TH!!!

Belinda