shattered dreams

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2008
shattered dreams
2
Mon, 01-07-2008 - 4:05pm

Hello all,


I have been lurking for a week and have decided to post because I think that you are all providing a wonderful support group and, if you'll have me, would love to join you


It has been almost a month since my husband told me that he wants a divorce.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 01-07-2008 - 10:59pm

Will we have you?????? YES!!!!!


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2006
Tue, 01-08-2008 - 8:09am

Hi Flower,


Karen is right. Making new friends and establishing a new routine will help you feel less dependent on your husband for your sense of balance and wholeness.


You don't say what culture your husband is from. Regardless, I suspect he's "changed" in your eyes because he's no longer the idealistic college kid (and neither are you). As we age our perspective changes about the world. (I know plenty of people who were "swinging liberals" in their 20s who are now "devoted conservatives" in their 40s).


What I also suspect is your husband is looking around him and comparing his life with others. That's natural because we live in a culture that's constantly throwing "newer, better, faster" in our faces. It's hard not to wonder, "Gee, am I really living the life I want?" Some take that and make their own lives better; others aren't so strong and crumble to the latest fad.


I would encourage you to take Karen's advice and to see a counselor for yourself. You need objectivity and a professional can help you sort through your feelings, needs, and wants. It will give you perspective on your marriage and help you decide what to do.


This isn't easy or simple, but you have the power to help yourself.


Good luck,

CL-Wisdomtooth2020


Learn to spell. Some commonly misspelled words on this board:


They're = contraction of "they are"; They're going to the store.

CL-Wisdomtooth2020