Shocked...
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Shocked...
| Sun, 09-18-2005 - 4:26pm |
My stbx moved out of our home and out of state in March. He came back to Illinois to visit the kids mid June. They haven't seen him since. I asked him if he'd like to have them over winter break and he said yes, but for just a week (wouldn't want to get too much parenting in or anything...). So I e-mailed him back and asked if he needed me to do anything to make the arrangements and went ahead and told the kids they'd be celebrating Xmas with their dad.

Hi Melanie.
So true, I had to beg to get my XH to take the kids every other weekend.... but I'll be darned if I didn't have something important, like a funeral of a close family member or a special event to go to and I if I ask him to take the kids... the answer... ALWAYS no. ALWAYS. He never "wants" extra time and even when I offer he says no. It irritates me to no end, but there is NOTHING I can do about it. Now I just live with the fact that I get every other weekend and I am thankful for that much. Before, we would go months on end without hearing or seeing him.... thank goodness he has been every other weekend for about a year now. ( We've been separated for 2 years divorced since January 05 and the year before, he missed probably 7 months of the childrens' lives )
It sucks, but we have to remember, it is them who will suffer when their children move on without them. One day they will realize..... one day.
Hugs and good luck with everything.
Amen! I completely agree......
It is HIS responsibility... I used to run myself ragged to make sure that he spent time with them. After all I had his newborn daughter and I thought.... god, will she ever know him? That made me so sad. SO very very sad.
We just have to accept that it is his responsibility and teach our children that BOTH parents love them, daddy ( or in some cases mommy ) just can't be here right now. Simple :)
Hugs to all
Angelena
Hi Melanie,
This is surprising to me as well. I would just think that a father would want to spend a lot of time with his kids. My older brother actually has his kids more than his ex-wife does, even though she won custody of them. Plus, there are a lot of situations where he takes them for her spur-of-the-moment because she is taking a trip, etc.
I'm sorry it has worked out this way. Hang in there - maybe one day he will resolve some of the issues he has and want to see them much more. In the meantime, make sure you get enough "me" time. :-)
Eric
He wants them to spend Christmas with their Jewish family... that goes double for showing he is looking after himself and not the kids.
I recall two times when DD was 4 or 5, her saying to me in anger, "I'll go live with Daddy!" It took all I had to keep my mouth shut and my face un-reactive. While my guts were screaming, "Honey, you aren't wanted there." He likes to take her in 3 hour increments, sees her maybe 8 hours a month. Hasn't had her spend the night there in over a year. DD did stop threatening to move to Dad's, and I think she won't try to use that tack again when she hits the volitile teens.
Yep, right after stbx moved out DD once said, "I'm going to move far away from you - I'm going to go live with Dad!" and I thought the same thing.
That's a good update!