Shocked and Confused

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2007
Shocked and Confused
3
Thu, 08-23-2007 - 12:48am
My husband of just over a year told me that he wanted to separate 4 days ago and although I did have the thought that maybe we rushed into marriage and may have made a mistake, I was shocked that he said it.
We have a 5 month old son and what really shocks me, is that he is already severed his emotions from both of us. He gets home, changes clothes and goes out and says it helps him to separate from the situation. He barely looks at the baby, and just bought a new truck--A NEW TRUCK!!! In the midst of all that's going on, he can think about going and playing pool and buying a new vehicle, while I'm home crying my eyes out.
He's so cold to me, rude comments, hurtful comments, won't even look me in the eye anymore.
Does anyone have some advice on how I'm going to get through the next month in this house with him???? I don't know how much more I can take.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2007
Thu, 08-23-2007 - 1:11am

OMG!
you poor thing!
Why is he staying in the house for the next month??? kick his pathetic, irresponsible a** out!

My story:
I am filing for divorce tomorrow after 12 years. He practically ignored the baby and us too. But I delt with it and tried to creat a happy home. He had a sense of responsibility that kept him here all these years. But they were not great.

My advice to you is to surround yourself with as much support as you can. It is tough with a little one. My husband was gone a lot and i raised my girl alone. But i have to admit I have family close to help out.

Go find a lawyer. you are married still so even if you don't have your own $$ you can use marital assets. A good lawyer will guide you and help you with your state mandated rights.

You may still be hormonal too, it's been too long for me to remember.
turn it into "momma bear" instinct.
You are a woman and a mom with a little life depending on you. It is OK to be scared, but you now have a job to do. Find out if it matters in your state and county if he files for divorce or you file. In my state, you can start receiving spousal support from the "day of separation".
After the divorce is final, it turns into alimony. (same amount of $$)
You should get some alimony and child support. (CS until age 18 or HS grad whichever comes first)
This sucks now, but you and your baby will be better in the end.
Always look ahead at the light at the end of this tunnel.
Stay positive and FOCUS on what you need to do.
God bless you and please write me if you want to talk more

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2007
Thu, 08-23-2007 - 1:23am
Unfortunately, I can't kick him out. He's in the Navy, getting ready to retire after 20 years and is on the security force out here, so basically he tells me that if I don't respect him, he'll kick me out of housing. Without any of my stuff and I'll just get screwed. So until I move to Texas, the first week in October, I just have to grin and bear it and bite my tongue.
Sucks!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2007
Thu, 08-23-2007 - 1:46am

Boy, isn't he the MAN.
Respect...funny he is using that term.
I'm sorry, I am just pissed.
You're caring for your baby and he's being a &*%$#!
I guess he will be singing a different tune when his paycheck, pension, 401K and anything else he has will be garnished by the gov't for your baby.
Stay safe, fly under the radar, make plans.
Careful with your e-mails!
And love your baby

Best of luck!