Should he come in my new house?

Avatar for loving_2
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Should he come in my new house?
7
Thu, 09-22-2005 - 8:42pm

I might be moving into a new house next month! But my new job might be 4 to midnite, he wants to pick up our son about 5 pm and take him back to the old house where he's staying until it gets sold. I have 2 older kids that will be home at that time when I leave. But I feel like I want my OWN, now, and having him there when I'm not, kinda pisses me off. Should it be okay? He won't snoop or anything right? But he shouldn't get a key for sure right???

Alissa

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2004
Thu, 09-22-2005 - 8:52pm
Can't you drop the kids off at his house on your way to work? I wouldn't want that arrangement where he could go in and look around at your place.
Avatar for loving_2
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Thu, 09-22-2005 - 9:08pm
I can't cause I will be leaving fro work at 330 pm, and he doesn't get home until 5pm, and I think being that I'm gone, and all my kids are at our new house, he'll just want to come by and see if everything is okay. I have a 16, and 17 from first marriage, and our 3 year old. I really need a day job bad!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Thu, 09-22-2005 - 9:43pm

If the other 2 kids will be there..... I say try it and see how it works.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2004
Fri, 09-23-2005 - 6:40am
My ex isn't allowd past the front porch because back when he first moved out he was coming in and taking things when he thought of it. He came in one day when I was at work and went through my closet looking for things he forgot and when I put my foot down he would send the kids in to get stuff. I told him he couldn't just send the kids in to get stuff he wanted to borrow whenever he felt like it. Of course I was the bad guy! Now I say no coming into my house and he's been good at not overstepping it now.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2005
Fri, 09-23-2005 - 8:11am

I have to say, in my case, one day when my XH dropped off the children after their weekend, he and his girlfriend stood on my porch and asked me ( in front of my 6 year old ) if they could come in and see the childrens' rooms. Shocked, I said yes. What else would I have done? Said NO WAY in front of my son? So I let him in.... she followed.


Since then she has managed to throw in my face that my apartment is "small" "cluttered" and basically been rude about it.


I would try NOT to let him in. If there are ways around it, go for it. It could bite you in the butt someday. Maybe not the way it bit me in the butt, but someway.... when you least expect it. Even if he is being

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2005
Fri, 09-23-2005 - 11:03am

I had a problem when I moved into my new place a month ago, that my STBX would come in and decide that he wanted to stick around for a bit, use my phone, internet, hang out.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Fri, 09-23-2005 - 11:45am

Hopefully having a new place that's "yours" will help to establish new boundaries for him and he'll feel less like he just has the "right" to have access.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~