Should I?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2006
Should I?
1
Sun, 07-09-2006 - 5:52pm
Hi, I hope I can find some guidance here. I've been married 2 years and with my husband for 3 years. After a year togther I became pregnant and we decided to marry. Two years later and I have asked him for a divorce. It all came to a head today. I have been busy caring for our daughter, going to school, and working for the rest of the time. He works for a school, and had last week off. The house was a mess and I realized he hadn't done a thing all week. I didn't get mad, I just asked him if he could start doing his own laundry. He flipped and told me I could start paying my own bills. This isn't the only thing, I think it's just the straw that broke the camel's back. Earlier this week I was bed ridden with stomache flu, so awful that I lost 4 pounds in a matter of days. He flipped again when I asked him to get me some gatorade from the store. Am I crazy? Is this normal behaivor? I have felt unhappy for so long, and always felt that we got married for the wrong reasons, but I've tried so hard to change this man, only to realize that people really don't change. He comes from a family where verbal and emotional abuse is the norm. The other week we were at his parent's house and his dad threw a rubber dodge ball at our one year old daugther's head TWICE because he thought it was funny. That was a big issue for us because he was raised with that sort of stuff and I absolutely think it's unacceptable. Is it? And now I'm plagued with the thought of my daughter being raised that same way. It makes me sick. I could go on about him; he didn't want to care for me the after I had an emergency D&C, I have seen that he corresponds with women I don't know on Myspace, and he even once pushed me off the couch when I said something he didn't like. Maybe I just want someone who doesn't know us to say that it's okay for me to no longer want to be married to him. Any advice?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
In reply to: mandirpo
Tue, 07-11-2006 - 12:37am

Yes, that is totally unacceptable... and it sounds like it's time to part ways unless he's willing to get help.... counseling... and get serious about changing his ways.


You might also check out these boards for support:
Recognizing & Dealing with Domestic Abuse
Domestic Abuse: New Beginning
Toxic Relationships


Be careful... and stay safe!


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~