should I be concerned?
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| Mon, 03-26-2007 - 1:13am |
This evening, when I picked Lauren up from her Dad, I asked her if she had a good time. She said she had except for when her dad and sm had went somewhere to look at houses to fix up and rent for a while leaving the step-mom's oldest d (J) in charge. J is 12, Lauren will be 9 in May, but there is also two young children, S who is 2 and C who is less than a year old. In my opinion, J is much too young to be watching all of these kids by herself. What do you think?
I have never met J, but even for a "seasoned" adult, taking care of that many kids can be a real challenge. Then there is possibility of an emergency (fire or injury). How is she going to react with three scared children, plus being a child herself? I'm really not comfortable with this situation. Am I being over-concerned?
Help!!

overwhelmed76..
PG thinks you should ask yourself if your "concern" is connected with the number of children the 12-year old is caring for...OR....if it has something to do with the fact that she's your EX's Stepdaughter?
Lauren might also resent the fact that she's a 9-year old being watched by a 12-year old. Most "older children" hate the idea of being part of a 'cluster' with babies!
Perhaps you need to have a chat with your EX so the 2 of you can eventually find a happier solution for your 9-year old?
Pianoguy
My only concern is the age of the sitter and the number of babies she was watching. My daughter has asthma and at least one of his kids have food allergies. I do not believe the sitter would've been old enough to react in a calm manner if an emergency would've happened.
I've accepted the fact that he has another family a few years ago. Lauren wasn't complaining about it. Sometimes she and J don't get along too well, but that's to be accepted--siblings will argue. My only concern was the number of very young kids and the age of the babysitter.
I think the 12 you could watch your daughter and the 2yo for an hour or so.
I think the 12yo could watch just your daughter for a longer period of time, say 2 - 3 hours (so long as it doesn't get too late, say until 7:30 or 8pm).
I think the 12 yo could watch the little baby for an hour or so.
But all three at once? The 12yo is in way over her head, and the two adults that let this happen are asking for trouble. I don't use the word stupid very often, but the ex and his gf are being stupid.
When I was homeschooling my oldest ds when he was 12yo, he had a P/T babysitting job for two young boys. The youngest had mild to moderate asthma and many allergies. The grandmother (who had custody) was 25 minutes away. There was an occasion when the boy had an asthma attack. He immediately got out the boy's meds and started his nebulizer while calling the grandmother on the phone. She got off the phone and left immediately. The boy's aunt then called and talked to my ds during the time it took the grandmother to arrive. By the time she arrived home, the boy was doing better. My ds handled it like a pro. My ds was living with an asthmatic, my dd, who had moderate to severe asthma. If the child lives with it, they have a much better idea of how to handle it.
As far as caring for three children at the age of 12, it really depends on all of the children involved. To be honest, the only one I would have been concerned about leaving with the 12yo would be the 9yo. That is NOT because of their relationship to one another or even their relationship in general. It's because 9yo's simply don't want someone that they see as "nearly" a peer in age being "their boss." LOL
I was doing this kind of babysitting when I was 12yo, too. The state we live in actually provides an age, unlike most states, at which a child may be home alone and when they can babysit. They can be home alone at 6yo and babysit at 12yo.
I do think that talking to your x and asking about the relationship between the girls and the seriousness of the health situation since it could disengage the 12yo from caring for the other children. I would not automatically say that this should not be happening.
In the end, it's not going to matter how many breaths you took, but how many moments took your breath away
-shing xiong