Should I call OW?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-06-2006
Should I call OW?
16
Thu, 01-18-2007 - 8:20am

STBX asked me for a favor last night - in return he will do me a favor. He wants to send the kids and I on a weekend trip (superbowl weekend) so he can bring OW 800 miles to visit him. In return, I get to stay in the house until I can move into a condo I will be purchasing (closing s/b 3/1). He hasn't paid me for 1/2 the house yet (still waiting for bank to close on his loan). I of course cried and asked why couldn't he just wait until I was out of the house. He tells me it's going to happen. I can't stand the thought of her being in the house one day and I'm there the next. What do I do?? I'm so freaking angry and hurt right now that I just feel like packing myself and the kids and moving who knows where.

I feel like calling this woman and telling her we are technically still married, still living together, and in the process of a divorce. She know he has kids and that we work together but that is it. She doesn't know I still live with him. He has told me that he would "FLIP" if I called her because she has nothing to do with our problem. It is his choice to do what he does. Do I call her and ask her not to come here until after I move out? I'm so lost and confused right now. He is just making this horrible. Thanks for any input.

Brenda

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2005
Thu, 01-18-2007 - 4:20pm
i see your side about her perpetuating a lie, however ultimately it's none of her business what he tells this woman - if they are divorcing, he can tell all the lies he wants - fortunately to someone else...maybe he's just trying to "protect" the other woman's feelings & giving the soon to be ex-wife the harsh reality shoved down her throat - i've never figured out what's worse - being lied to, or given the truth...both have their pros/cons...but i have to say that i would use anything to my advantage - and considering what lengths he would go to, to protect his new "GF" - i would have to weigh my options very carefully :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2005
Thu, 01-18-2007 - 4:35pm
Pardon me if this was already covered somewhere, but how is it that he is able to put you out of your house? I have never heard of any judge putting children on the street.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2005
Thu, 01-18-2007 - 4:37pm
you'll have to repost to original poster...
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-06-2006
Thu, 01-18-2007 - 6:47pm

He is not able to put me out of my house, however, he makes it impossible to live in the same house if he doesn't get what he wants. I also work with him so I see him at work & at home.

Told him today there is no way this girl is going to be in our house. The day I receive 1/2 my money for the house will be the day I leave. Good news is the place I'm buying will probably be available by 2/15 instead of 3/1. (unfortunately, not before the superbowl). He threatened me. Told me he would physically remove me. Told me to call the cops. I stood there and told him I would need to do what I needed to do if he was to go there. He just says the meanest things. I threatened to call her and explain to her how he such a stand up guy. Threated to smash my phone. Funny thing is that its not affecting me the way it usually would. I think its driving him crazy. Later in the day after he hears my phone call with the seller he's asking when can we go measure the house for new cabinets. He is hot then cold. Borderline personality disorder I tell you!!

I know we are getting divorced and I need to move on but it doesn't need to be shoved down my throat. He could wait 6 weeks before flying her up here when I am free and clear of this house. Right now, as Dolly said, I have to use the same amenities she is using after shes gone.

I will stand my ground and not leave the house. It will force him to take her to a hotel. My son has b-ball game on Saturday morning and the 2 of them have hockey skating lessons on Sunday. I'm not leaving town and disrupting their lives because their father is selfish.

Anyways, thanks everyone for the input. Sometimes you just need to vent and have people who have been there and done that offer unconditional advice.

Brenda
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2005
Fri, 01-19-2007 - 10:16am

Good for you. The next time he threatens any physical violence, call the police. Get a restraining order. Don't give him the satisfaction of driving you crazy. Once you show him that you are not just flapping at the lips and actually do what you said, his tune will change.

Really, you are driving this bus. If he threatens you, you can have HIM removed from the house until you move out. I can't believe his nerve.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2005
Fri, 01-19-2007 - 11:16am

Good for you! I would quietly go down to the police station anyway and tell them what you told us so you can file a report, just in case. Then, if things get real ugly, they'll already be aware of your situation. The next time he says "call the cops" you can say "no worries, I already have -- and I've filed a report too."

The police are not going to allow you and your children to be thrown out of the house. He'd have to go first.

I thought my STBX was crazy, but I think yours is nuts!

Hang in there, Belinda

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