Should I do this?....

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2005
Should I do this?....
10
Thu, 09-29-2005 - 3:24pm

I don't know if you all have read my other post or not about my husband....
But I got an offer to move into another apartment that my best friend owns in another town. It's ten minutes from my job, as of now I drive 43 miles (1 hour) one way.
My husband doesn't know where this apartment is, and I don't have to pack anything except my clothes. I would have to pay all the bills like normal, I do now.
I want to know should I do this? I have almost convinced myself to, but I think I need that support to get me going. I could be moved out in less than two days. Logically I know what I need to do, but I am so scared that I am going to miss him.
I'd have my own place, 2 bedroom, just me and I kinda like that. But I am just really scared, can someone tell me why?

(It's kinda like that tattoo that I am going to get on Friday that he never wanted me to have.)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Thu, 09-29-2005 - 5:01pm

Ten minutes vs. one hour?...... I vote for ten minutes!


Ya know... one way or another, you're going to miss him.... for a while.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Thu, 09-29-2005 - 6:32pm

I say GO FOR IT too!

It seems like a good move for you.

Let us know what you decide.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2005
Thu, 09-29-2005 - 9:22pm

I agree, the first step is getting out and getting into your OWN space. The rest will soon follow but it is a given that you will miss him... even just for a minute.


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-14-2005
Fri, 09-30-2005 - 2:13am

Umm....get your butt moving!!!!

No kids? from what you posted you did not mentioned of any.

What are you missing now? Your life without all his bull crap...A life that will bring you re-newal....and ultimately more happiness

Surely you will miss him initially, but knowing that one day you will meet that someone that will truly hear the important you have to say, to share your successes along with your failures....to appreciate you, respect you...honor you is much greater joy than what you have now...

Although not knowing your entire situation ...is hard to fully understand. Only have feeling that you want to leave, cause things are horrible where you are.

Good Luck with your decision....smile on your way out...and dream big of your future.
Keep us posted...as we will try to lift your spirits.

Rob

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2003
Fri, 09-30-2005 - 9:02am


You have a good thing going, things like this don't come around everyday. GO FOR IT!!!!
Hon, you will miss him, and it sucks, but you have to do what's best for you. I've been gone for 2-months living back at home after 8yrs, and I miss him everyday. But you know what I have to keep going, I tell myself everything happens for a reason. I won't lie you'll cry and you'll laugh but that is the healing process, and in a year from now we can look back together and be proud of what we have accomplished as women. I don't have kids either, and it's probably a good thing, seems to be a little easier without kids involved but it is hard, I won't say it will be easy, it won't. Be strong, do this for you. Keep us posted and it you would like to email me directly gtrstacy@alltel.net I'm in the boat with you and we will paddle together.

Stacy

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Fri, 09-30-2005 - 10:14am

GO FOR IT!!


you will be happy that you did...

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2005
Fri, 09-30-2005 - 4:36pm

La la la,

I picked up and left last nite...

And it's better than any alcohol in the world!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
Fri, 09-30-2005 - 5:09pm

Good for you! I moved out a little over a month ago. Before I actually moved, I was terrified. I was woried I couldn't handle it, I wouldn't be able to build my cheap IKEA furniture on my own, I'd be scared and lonely...etc. OK, sometimes I am lonely, but I think that's to be expected.

HOWEVER...when I wake up, I don't have that sick miserable pit in my stomach any longer. I look forward to the future with some degree of hope. I don't feel like I'm slowly dying each day, staying in a marriage that was killing me. Is it a hard transition? Sure. But I am finding it SO worth it. I think you will, too.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2005
Sat, 10-01-2005 - 5:08pm
Good for you. By the way how did you tattoo turn out. I got my first back in June because he didn't want me to, I love it and I'm getting my next one tomorrow while he isn't around.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2005
Sun, 10-02-2005 - 1:28pm
Ha ha, I love it. I was terrified it was going to hurt, but it was no problem. It turned out really well, he charged me 40.00 for it and I was so thrilled with it that I tipped him 20.00. Believe you me, I don't usually tip 50% on anything! It's a small chinese symbol on my lower back that translates into TRUTH. It rocks.
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