Should I file for divorce?
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Should I file for divorce?
| Thu, 04-14-2005 - 4:35pm |
My wife left me the day before new year's eve. I was very mentally abusive and was very mean. I was just so frustrated that I was not providing for her the way I should that I ended up taking it out on other people including her. I am pretty sure that she never wants to see me again. I am wondering should I file or should I wait for her to.
I had an accident at work and am receiving a very large settlement. I am debating whether or not she would take me back just because of that :(
I am unsure of what to do.
Jerrod

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"I share some opinions with you. But I do not share the opinion that this board is unsupportive of men or a hateful place. It is not. You saying it only reinforces your belief that it is true. There is no way you will find any board where you agree with all the posters, or you like what they all have to say. But by and far the majority of members on this board do have open minds and are here to receive support and offer help to each other."
I appreciate your honesty and will rethink my opinion.......
Well,
I am afraid you are right. I think that might be the only reason she is holding on and not filing herself because she is already dating and so mean to me. She has said maybe 2 nice things to we have seperated. I am getting closer to the fact to file. Half of me says I should give her half, but what I am being shown tells me that I should give her nothing. I am unsure still but will think harder about this issue.
Jerrod
There could be many reasons why your wife hasn't filed yet. Maybe she isn't certain what she wants/needs and needs to sort out her feelings. Maybe she's seeing whether you might be able to change. Or maybe she just isn't emotionally ready to file yet, or can't afford an attorney right now. As others have suggested, you could ask her whether she has made a decision, or whether she'd consider even going to counselling to talk about your issues to see whether there's a chance of reconciliation. Whether you can work things out with your wife or not, you should seek counselling with an abuse counsellor. Recognizing how you treated your wife is important, but if you don't try to change what caused you to be mean and verbally abusive it will be difficult for you to have a successful relationship in the future-with your wife or with someone new.
As far as the money goes, I agree you should seek legal advice. You also should think about what is fair. Were you with your wife when you had the accident? Did she support you as you recovered, financially or emotionally? If you were, and your lawyer advises you are not obligated to give her any money, you may find yourself in a legal battle that costs more in legal fees fighting over the money than it would have cost to give your wife a portion of the settlement.
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