Should I stay or go?
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| Mon, 07-16-2007 - 4:49pm |
I guess my screen name says it all. I am trying to decide if I should leave my husband or not and I am looking for some input. We have our little problems, but the reason I would leave is that when he gets mad he gets mean. He gets very angry, yells, curses, and says mean and hurtful things. He gets mad a lot....I would say a few times a week. Sometimes it is because of something I have done or said, and sometimes it is because he is stressed, tired, etc. If we had no kids, I would be gone, but we have 2 small children. I want to make this decision based on what is best for them. I know that fighting parents are not good for kids. But if we divorce, then when my kids are with him they will have to deal with him without me there. He is absolutely not violent and has not directed any of his anger toward them....yet. If he follows in the steps of his father, which he has so far, he will end up being an a@@to the kids as they get older.
Do I suck it up and deal with it in order to keep things as peaceful for my kids as possible and stay in control of their experience....or do I get out now, stop the fighting and set a better example for my kids? All insight is welcome!

Have you discussed counseling with him? I would try this first to see if anything gets better.
I have always thought that once you have children they must come first in both spouses eyes. They have done nothing wrong and are the innocent ones, their needs must be placed above all.
Take this for what it is worth, my wife left 2 1/2 weeks ago after admitting an affair and even after offering reconcilation she won't even consider counseling. When I ask about the kids she says she doesn't believe her actions are selfish, we don't see eye to eye on that.
Good luck, if the anger starts to be directed towards the kids then get out.
JDW
Leaving my angry verbally abusive husband was the best thing I ever did for me and my child. We were to the point where my daughter never wanted to leave my side because she was afraid my husband and I would fight or he would be yelling at me. She felt like she had to defend me or step in the middle to prevent us from fighting. Since he is gone, she is opening up and is more willing to go to friends or attend events. He self confidence is soaring.
It was hard and it still is hard but I am so thankful for my peace and quiet every day and night. Occasionally he starts on the phone but I have the option to hang up and not listen if he is being mean.
Good luck to you, I know my choice isn't for everyone but I have never been happier. He was a miserable man who was bringing me down. Now I celebrate everyday with positive thoughts.