should we RECONCILE?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2007
should we RECONCILE?
3
Tue, 11-06-2007 - 10:24pm

Here goes.........we've been separated about 1 1/2 yrs (I asked him to leave).....lately we get along really well, there is no tension, he doesn't get on my nerves.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2006
Wed, 11-07-2007 - 9:41am

A7,


My advice? If you seriously want to reconcile, please do it with the assistance of a marriage counselor. Don't move back into together until you've seen one. You need a plan to address the issues that divided you, honestly look at your motives for wanting to be back together, and frankly, you need to determine if your goals are a match. (Maybe he doesn't want more kids. What if that's the case?, etc.)


Going it alone is a bad idea. Do-it-yourself reconcilations can fail because you cross your fingers instead of doing the hard work. If you do the work, you'll be glad whether you get back together or not.


Good luck and let us know how it goes.

CL-Wisdomtooth2020

CL-Wisdomtooth2020

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-06-2007
Sat, 11-10-2007 - 1:37pm

I read your post and was reminded of my own situation. My husband and I were separated for about 1.5 years (part of it living in the same house, and during the last part of it, I lived on my own).

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2007
Mon, 11-12-2007 - 6:46pm

It sounds like you're going through withdrawal. It sounds like you want to get back for all the wrong reasons. Maybe the reason you get along better and he doesn't get on your nerves is because you aren't living with him anymore. It seems that you are allowing yourself to forget everything that was wrong that caused you to leave in the first place. I think that if you go back you'll be miserable again in a few months.


If you decide to reconcile, don't do it without counseling first. You obviously left for very serious reasons so make sure that gets addressed before considering a reconciliation otherwise you'll wind up right back where you were before you left.


Be careful