sleazy divorce client

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
sleazy divorce client
19
Wed, 09-19-2012 - 4:10pm

I have this divorce client right now (not my choice--my boss knew him) and I just can't wait until his divorce is over.  It really shouldn't be that complicated--they own one house and have some retirement accounts, but it's not like they are millionaires--they just like fighting, I guess.  So first of all the guy calls me to tell me that his wife was in a bad car accident last week and his questoin is that if she gets a settlement from the accident, can he get part of it?  Nice that he's so concerned with her welfare.  So I mentioned that it would be hard for him to have his own claim for "loss of consortium" which is the loss of the companionship, society & usually sex of the spouse since they have been living apart for months and already filed for divorce and his answer was 'but we are still having sex." That one just amazed me.  I can kind of see that some people who are having an amicable divorce might still have sex sometimes if neither one of them found someone else since they are familiar, but I don't get how people who are at each other's throats arguing about money & who is going to take care of the kids, etc. can still want to have sex.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2000
Fri, 09-28-2012 - 1:41pm
OMG, I want to get a new bed sooo bad!! My dresser and night stands are my grandma's and I'll never get rid of those, but the bed needs to go. As soon as I can swing it, I'm getting rid of it. I already bought new sheets, comforter set, pillows, and steamed the crap out of it with my steamer, but it still feels a little icky to me. I feel l need to get some sage and smoke out the evil spirits around here. :-)
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2010
Fri, 09-28-2012 - 2:27pm

I agree with everyone else, mc...you have the best sense of humor...and for ALL you've been through!  That's awesome! 

<<evil spirits>>...I love it.  lol 

I only took the basement furniture and my 2 younger daughters' bedroom furniture when I moved out of the big house.  The one thing I regret not doing was making the ex sell the diningroom furniture and giving me half.  Back in the day when we built the house and had major stock options, he bought a diningroom set for $15,000!  (NOT something I ever would have done, but he wanted it in a certain wood and so had it handmade...whatever).  I left it when he said we would give it to one of our DDs someday.  I told DD28 that and she said I should have made him sell it and then give her and her sisters each a share towards their weddings!  Crap.  THAT'S what I should have done, but it took SO long for our divorce to be finalized (because of him getting fired) that by the time I got him to agree what I wanted in alimony (which I no longer have since he decided to never work again and live off his wife), I let the little things go...like the diningroom set.  Anyway, I did buy myself a new bed, sheets, comforter, etc...when I moved in and used one of my DDs dressers. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Fri, 09-28-2012 - 7:21pm

I didn't buy a new bedroom furniture set cause the one that I have is too nice but I did go right out & buy new sheets & comforter in a color that I liked--one good thing about being divorced is that you don't have to consult anyone else about decorating ideas.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2008
Sat, 09-29-2012 - 4:12am

My ex took the bed and his old headboard and let me tell you that the bed should of been replaced 10 years before.  As for me I bought a new bed that is so much better but didn't change the sheets or comforter because they had all been my choices which of course he didn't like.  I also didn't have the extra money to change them all.  One of the things that happened in our divorce is my ex got the belongings in our house in the states and I got them here in Spain. He actually argued that I got the better deal.  Our furnishings here were brought over from the states and used for 10 years while the furnishings in the states were used for 5 weeks at best in the year.  The only thing my ex was allowed to take from here were his personal items and some furniture that I didn't want.  As for the US house I only wanted my piano and personal things.  I have no way to bring any of these things here without paying an arm and leg and besides most of it I wasn't really attached to.  My ex did take all the photos which included the kids, which were double prints.  He also took the wedding photos.  I laughed at that.  He took them out of the house to his own in another state so I couldn't have them.  Hopefully he will give them to our children when they are adults.

Emom13

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2010
Sat, 09-29-2012 - 10:42am

I agree with you, Music.  Decorate away...just as YOU like it.  :smileyhappy:

Being married is all about compromise because NO 2 people are going to ever agree on everything.  I've told dh more than once I don't like our green comforter (hate the color green), but he bought it before I moved in and it's still good, so I live with it.  I'd like a coffee table in our living area, but he doesn't, but hates the area rug I put down,  so I said, "Fine.  We won't have a coffee table, but the rug stays.  THERE'S our compromise."  Dh and I are polar opposites, so without compromise, we wouldn't make it for sure. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Tue, 10-02-2012 - 3:23am

Don't care much for green myself either. No law saying you can't have more than one comforter and alternate them right? 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2012
Wed, 10-03-2012 - 4:07pm

I hope this case moves as quickly as possible so you don't have to deal with that negative energy.  It sounds like two people with very selfish agendas.  Divorce is rough in all situations because hurting people hurt people but most divorcees never see how intermingling pain with anger with sex can cause SERIOUS consequences.  Hopefully, this will be a 6 month or less process for you as the attorney.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Thu, 10-04-2012 - 10:53am

It's already been going on since Feb. and if we had to have a trial it wouldn't be until March--but we did a 3 hour mediation last week and I think we finally have it all done.  I am keeping my fingers crossed until everything is signed cause my client is the type who could change his mind at any time.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2011
Thu, 10-04-2012 - 11:00am

My husband and I are recently seperated and we still have sex.  Every time, I feel remeinded of how it's not like it used to be though.  I cannot imagine getting to the point where we're actually signing divorce papers and we're still having sex.  Seems strange to me!

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