So complicated...Don't know where to start

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2011
So complicated...Don't know where to start
4
Sun, 08-07-2011 - 9:50am

Hi all,

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999

Just because you are married to an American citizen, I do not think that US law controls because you have never lived as a married couple in the US.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2008

Hello Betterday

I am the person that music was referring to about getting divorced in Spain and also in the States.

Emom13

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2011
Hi emom,

Thank you so much for your reply. To answer your question, my H is not in the military and we got married by German law. If we file in Germany, we will have to wait for 2 years of mandatory separation. I have proof (in forms of emails from my employee) regarding the emotional abuse whenever I got a job or interview which hinder me from being independent. He and I talk about the situation and have come to a middle ground regarding the financial situation. Probably he can see that the headache of taking this to court just not worth it. I am also looking for a job now, and once I find a job, I will not even be bothered about any support from him. I have contacted the US embassy where I live here, and they said we could file in the State of his residency. He never gives up his residence status and pays state Tax. So let's see how it goes. Filing in Germany and two years of limbo will be too mentally exhausting.

Thank you for listening. I feel better knowing that I'm not alone. Yesterday, it seemed so depressing.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2008
I am glad that you got some answers from the Embassy that helped. Personally I would still try to find a lawyer would can help you with any details on how to go about settling all the details and making sure that you have some money even if you do have a job. Your stbx is agreeing right now but if he is controlling an emotionally abusive you may never know when he decides that you have had enough of his money. If it is formally written down and signed by both parties it is harder for him to do this and if you do need to take him to court you have proof that you worked through the proper channels and it is not just a he said/ she said situation.

Emom13