So confused...

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2007
So confused...
1
Fri, 08-31-2007 - 10:55pm

Hey everyone...

I'm new to this forum, so first I just want to say hi!

Anyways, just a little background...my SO and I have been together for 5 years, and we've definitely had both our good and our bad times. We broke up once before (and I admit, I had made some mistakes and sometimes let jealousy get the best of me), but we got back together three months later. Ever since then, I've truly been trying as hard as I could to make him happy...while we do have our spats, I generally let him do whatever he wants and play by his rules.

Some times, things are going really great, and he tells me that he really wants to fight to make our relationship work because he wants nothing more than to be happy with me. However, two days ago, he told me that he doesn't care about me and doesn't feel anything for me anymore...and that he has felt like he doesn't love me anymore for a long time. This really confuses me, as just this past weekend, he was so excited that we were doing well...He even told me that he's really happy because he can see that we're heading down the right path this time, and he wants us to achieve our dreams and goals together. I know him very well, and I could tell that he really meant it when he said he was happy...but it scares me because it seemed all too real when he said he doesn't love me anymore.

I just don't know what to believe. He threatened to leave, but I convinced him to not give up on this yet...sometimes he gets very negative like this and only thinks about all the bad times...almost depressingly...but eventually he always comes around. It always hurts me a lot, and makes me feel like even when I'm trying my best I'm not good enough for him. He compares me to his friend's SOs, and always tells me how great they are. Nevertheless, I love him so much, and have shared so many good times and connect really well for the majority of the time. I know that he loves me too, and because of this, it kills me to think that this may be coming to an end.

At this point, I'm feeling really lost and hopeless. Any advice on what should I do?

Thanks for all your help!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
In reply to: pinkrazr
Wed, 09-12-2007 - 8:54am

Hey,


If he's spending his time looking at your friends' SO's.... then he's NOT spending his time making the effort to see what HE DOES HAVE... and there's just no way you can "make" him look (and likely, he won't realize what he HAS until you're gone).


So, while you love him and you are committed.... he's not sharing that same level of commitment with you... and if he can't see the reality of what he has to lose, it's his loss.... and you DESERVE to have the opportunity to be with someone who recognizes that.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me

Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~