So Happy it has been scary!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2004
So Happy it has been scary!!
4
Mon, 08-08-2005 - 10:21pm
Not sure what is up with me this week....It has been about a month since H moved out...and for the last 2 or 3 days, I almost feel bad admitting it, I have been really happy.....Our home has been so stressfree since he has gone and I just feel like a big weight has been lifted off of my shoulders......I have been thinking about the future and he is not in it...I have even started to think about what it is going to be like to be dating in my 30s.....During the week last week, I just kept on thinking of all the crap he has put me thru with the cheating, his wacko dysfunctional family, His party guy behavior, the constant traveling and never being there when I needed him. I seriously can not think of one time during our marriage that he was there for me....He was supposed to be my shoulder to lean on and the sad fact is that he never had empathy for me at all...He would always just turn it around to be about him..I have never met some one who is so cold.....I am just really starting to realize that our relationship was never about me....It was always about him and what I could do for him...and how I am never good enough for him.......Who needs that....I dont....Maybe I will find some one else.......Maybe I wont......but at least I will be living life by my standards, not his
fantasy one way street marriage.....I am just now realizing that with everyday I was staying with him was another day that I was not living the life that I was intended to...I was kind of shocked tonight that he mentioned starting divorce stuff and I did not even feel hurt or sad.....I was just like yeah, lets get this show on the road buddy!!....I am so hoping this good mood thing lasts......
Avatar for eatatmoms
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 08-09-2005 - 7:59am

I know EXACTLY how you feel! High five to you!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2003
Wed, 08-10-2005 - 10:30am

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That is the same exact way that I felt when my STBX left. I don't think that you can truly see what type of situation you are in until you step back and take a good look. After my STBX moved out, I started to realize that things were not that great when he was around - it just seemed like we were a family because he was still in the house. In reality, he neglected me and the kids, and was very cold and disrepectful towards me. Without him around I was finally able to relax and not have to walk on eggshells anymore. It's funny how the very person that you once believed you could not live without turns out to be the one person that you just cannot live with!

I hope that your happiness continues and grows. This is the beginning of a new stage of your life, and it can be as wonderful as you make it!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2005
Wed, 08-10-2005 - 7:28pm

Hi,

Your story is pretty much identical to mine. I'm in my 30's too and have felt really relieved and happy most of the time after he moved out (until today see my post today). It is strange how you see everything so much more clearly after STBX's move out. You have a great attitude and I know that we both will thrive in our new lives one day soon.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2005
Thu, 08-11-2005 - 8:09am

Truly inspirational :)


Thank you for sharing your "thrive" stories. What a great way to start the day, reading happy "I will survive" stories :)


Hugs to you all and CONGRATS!


Angelena