So tired and confused
Find a Conversation
So tired and confused
| Sat, 06-09-2007 - 8:43am |
I am going thru a divorce..after 21 yrs of marriage. We have 2 kids 18 and 10. My story is a long one... to make it shorter..my husband is a lazy wop!!! He worked the at a job for 17 yrs and had gained seniority and was making good money.. then one day he decides to quit. He had neck surgery and decided he like being at home laying around and didn't want to go back to work. Anyway, I lost my mom in 2004 and basically I have kept us up for the past 3 yrs on my inheritence. Now it is gone and he has went from one piddly job to another not holding one down for long at all. (He tried selling cars at 2 dealerships and got canned because he wasn't selling) His mom has bailed us out a few times...the story goes on and on. I have always worked part time while the kids were small... now I just finished a cosmetology program and am working 2 part time jobs until I can get my business established. I feel I am doing everything in my power to keep afloat. Our daughter got a full scholarship to college THANK GOD! He bought some rental property and has ended up losing half of it...he can't manage money. Our home recently sold and I have filed for divorce. I am scared because I don't know how I am going to make it. One of the rental houses is empty and I told him that is where I am going to move with the kids. I found out yesterday that he is 2 payments behind on this house. I have applied to DHS for food stamps this week, and also for TENNCARE insurance thru the state for my kids. The payment on the house is 600.00 per month. I am barely making that with my 2 jobs....soon I will add a 3rd job. I don't understand him....he just doesn't care. I told him that he needs to make it top priority to see that the house his kids are moving to needs to be paid for. I know I can help out with the payments....but I can't do everything. I am losing my car....have lost my inheritence.....now I don't know if I can depend on him to help me put a roof over our heads. Our home that we live in now is going into foreclosure. Luckily we sold it before it got that far. I am just so disgusted...frustrated and lost. HELP! I have only one brother and he is in a financial mess as well. I have no family to move in with....I want to move into the house because it is in a decent area and would be a good place for us. Any advice is appreciated. Oh, his child support was set last week and is supposed to go into effect next week 790.00. What is the old saying "You can't get blood out of a turnip."

THANK GOD!
...he can't manage money.
I can't do everything
now I don't know if I can depend on him
Your words. After 31 years of marriage I have been living alone for 10 months. (no children at home). It is tough, but think about your own words....THANK GOD you are "loosed" from him. Woman, Thou Are Looosed is a wonderful book. Thank God for the things you do have: education, ability to work, your children.
He can't manage money. You have no control over that. The state will see that he pays up, or goes to jail (I think most states are that way). In the meantime, there are food banks, churches that help with rent and utilities, whatever it takes to feed your kids and have a roof over your heads. Womens shelters may also offer some advice.
You can do it all, and you will with God's help. There will undoubtedly be some tough times and some adjustments, but you can survive this. Obviously you CANNOT depend on hubby. He's got his own problems, and don't you know the world revolves around him?? You and the kids are not a priority at this point.
I read another posting the other day that really got my attention:
Repeat after me:
I cannot control his ________ (drinking, womanizing, partying, whatever)
I cannot make him be responsible with money.
I can only be accountable for myself.
Stay the course....know your boundries and limitations.
Hang in there, ask around for financial help...some churches will help without expecting anything back from you. Even my little bitty country church helps non-members with rent and utilities, groceries and vehicles. In our area the Baptist and Methodist churches are the most giving in these situations.
Good luck, and God Bless you and yours.