sold the house

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2004
sold the house
7
Tue, 03-08-2005 - 6:27pm

Hi all,

I was wondering if anyone else has felt this way. Our house sold on Saturday and I can't decide if I should be happy or sad. I wanted this to be the house my daughter grew up in, but that just isn't possible. That makes me sad. On the other hand, I am happy to be finding my own place and to have it be mine and not have all the memories of my stbx. I guess I am a bit conflicted about the whole thing. My stbx was crying after we signed the offer and all I could think was good, now you might realize there are consequences to your actions. In the end, he got over it and seems to be fine with the whole thing. I guess I just needed to vent and see if anyone else was sad/happy when they sold their home.
Neverdull

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
In reply to: neverdull1
Tue, 03-08-2005 - 8:45pm

Hi Sweetie! I haven't had to sell our house yet (and won't if I'm not forced to) but I think that IF I have to, I will be very sad. When we bought this house, we wanted all of the children to finish school here and feel stable. We thought that when the kids were grown and gone we would sell and build our dream house in the mountains. We even paid cash for a beautiful lot in the mtns. 10 days before we split. Funny how life plays the cruelest jokes on us, huh! My heart goes out to you as I know that when you bought the house it was with the best of intentions, as was ours. Just take solace in knowing that you did the best that you could possibly do and what isn't meant to be...well, it isn't meant to be.

It's nice to know that somewhere down deep inside, most men really feel something like grief...but, some cry for a second and then get over it too soon. I don't know how your X feels...but I know how mine would feel...not one tear would be shed for the loss of us, but he would cry a river for the loss of the house. He's very materialistic. The more material things he has, the happier he is. But I'm not materialistic in any way (or I wasn't until we bought this house and since my Mom paid the house off then I guess it should be mine by all rights). He is still trying to get his share of the equity and there is none left. Mom owns this house and he has no rights to it. Sucks for him! This is where the saying comes in...blood is thicker than water...

Listen hon, you will find your way through the fog...you will be happier when you are settled into a life (and home) that you all can handle. He will realize someday what the consequences were and find that it just wasn't worth it. Take comfort in yourself by knowing that you did all you could do. I know I do and someday we will find someone who truely loves us for us.

HUGEST HUGS!!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2005
In reply to: neverdull1
Wed, 03-09-2005 - 10:43am

Good morning!


First off, HUGS!!!


I know it's not easy. My X and I didn't own a house, but we lived in the same duplex for 5 years out of the 7 we were together.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: neverdull1
Wed, 03-09-2005 - 12:03pm

Hi There,

This is my first post on this board, so I will go formally introduce myself, but wanted to offer you a hug. My house is scheduled to close on March 29th, and it is the house of my dreams, where I wanted my children to grow up and bring their children home to... Packing it up has been horrendous, I can totally understand, yet I feel like it is one of the last steps to closing the past, so I can open up the future.

If you want to talk, I'd love to @ alliandmollysmom (AIM)

Kerry

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2004
In reply to: neverdull1
Wed, 03-09-2005 - 8:06pm

Dear neverdull1,

If its any consolation, when we sold our 1st home (to move to a larger home) I felt a tinge of sadness. Our two older children were born while we lived there, and there were many happy memories. The sale was something we wanted to do, and it was still a little sad. A chapter of our lives was finished.

Even if the circumstances are good ones, it can be bittersweet to say good-bye to a place you lived in.

Ann

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
In reply to: neverdull1
Wed, 03-09-2005 - 10:39pm

We moved several times while I was growing up (it's this buy a house, fix it up, then sell it syndrome that my dad started... and now I'm doing!), so I think of moving as a wonderful way to clean out the clutter and reorganize.


It can be a great new beginning... and memories never die.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me

Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
In reply to: neverdull1
Wed, 03-09-2005 - 10:57pm
I woudl think its totally normal. I cried when we left the house we bought when we were married, & that we conceived dd in, & that we brought her home to (we moved when she was 9 mo old). & to add your issues of having to sell b/c of divorce ...of course it is emotional. But thats OK! You & dd are on your way to making your OWN home, w/ new wodnerful happy memories! ENJOY!

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2005
In reply to: neverdull1
Thu, 03-10-2005 - 12:59am

I never got the choice to sell. I left the house and ex stayed all along never paying the mortgage or even letting me get my things out. I had to sneek in when I knew he wasn't home to retrieve my personal belongings. He let things get so bad that I had a hard time finding anything. Garbage was piled so high and I even at one point was on good terms with him and tried to help him clean u. It was a neverending battle.

Needless to say HE lost the house to forclosure. I even let him keep the entire income tax return so he could catch up but he just blew the money. That was almost 2 years ago now. Just this past fall I went past the old property to see what was happening with it.

Whoever has it now tore down the old hopuse and built a new huge house in the middle of the property. I wasn't sad to see it go however I couldn't believe whoever owns it now had the pink dogwood tree cut down. It made no sense cuz it wasn't in the way of anything.

Hugs to you, I had dreams of my own home too and raising my girls there.

Things do get better and moving on can be a great experience.

K:-)