son meeting OW for first time
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son meeting OW for first time
| Sun, 11-18-2007 - 2:01pm |
okay ladies, how do you deal with the ex wanting to push your son (15 next month) into meeting the whore who tore his family apart?
My son is at his dads this weekend and my ex planned on asking our son about meeting her. IF he agreed to it, then they're probably out on ex's boat now enjoying the afternoon!!!

First of all, I want to send some hugs and wishes for peace your way.
Thank you so much for the words of wisdom!!
ITA with the hard as anything to take the high road... I can tell you though, from experience, I feel so much better having done that (at least to xh's face) and venting here or to other friends (away from xh and children...)... I even call my xh Jack at times... its not his real name, but it is short for something else.
Hi Julie, again thank you for the encouragement.
Hi all,
I guess in the end, it's nice to know we are not all alone and that others are going through the same thing. I am a little different in that I am a man and was the faithful one, but that happens, too, sometimes.
I've gotten past her infidelity and we are preparing an amicable divorce - her friends call me a saint for being this way, but it's not about me anymore, it's about good relations with her for the sake of the kids (2 boys, 13 and 3).
I was politely uninvited from Thanksgiving at her relatives' house, as expected, but when she told them we were getting a divorce, they said they wanted me to come along anyway. Weird... We still live in the same house until we sell it and divvy the proceeds, so we'll be going to her relatives' house together in the same car!
I guess it would be harder if she had a significant other, but that's not the case... Still, we have these arguments every now and then that make me think it might be better just going to visit my brother and his family (who don't celebrate thanksgiving).
Anyway, Lisa, I think it's great that your ex's family still wants you there. If he's not there, then certainly! If he is, then that's probably up to you and your comfort level and your relations with the ex.
In regards to his wanting to introduce the homewrecker, that's ultimately something that he's going to do regardless. My advice to you is to stay strong, and DON'T get in between the kids and them. Your kids are old enough to know who is in the wrong here, and the more you are a loving mother, the greater the contrast between you and them there will be. On the other hand, if you interject a lot of negativity in the picture, then it becomes an unpleasant picture all around, just adding stress to the kids.
In the end, we all have to let go of our ex'es and their lives (so long as they are not damaging the kids) and focus on our own.
My to-be-ex had quite a few "partners" in the past few months before she found one she really liked - after she was dating him for 3 weeks, she told the 13 year old about him (and I knew partly through him, partly from observing her changes in behavior). I did nothing. Funny thing now is that a week later, he has stopped calling her and she is a little upset. (Already dumped and not yet divorced!) I shouldn't take satisfaction out of that... no wait, maybe I should!
But now, looking forward again... it doesn't matter what she does with her life so long as she looks after the kids when she has them. What matters is what I do with my life. We all need to remember that we are important, not the ex. Go out and live life! Being a happy person is more attractive to others anyway. :-)