Sons going to live with dad
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Sons going to live with dad
| Mon, 06-16-2008 - 7:49am |
Divorce was final 2 years ago and I have been battling depression/anxiety since the initial seperation five years ago when I found out he cheated on me with a hooker on a golf trip and got a "rash".

I am so sorry. Your hurt comes across clearly in your post. I think that boys actually need a mother in their life more than anything. I could be wrong, but I think a good mom and a male influence (doesn't need to be dad, necessarily) are the best they can get. However, you need to move forward and be happy in order to give them the mom they deserve. They especially don't need to be around a man who visits prostitutes. Do you truly think their dad is a better influence for them?!?!?!
I wonder what is truly preventing you from moving on. The way I see it, your ex is a real loser. He pays women for sex, he cheated on you and cheats you out of child support. There's no reason to cling to him as a happy memory in your life. I know it's easier said than done, but I hope you are able to get to the bottom of what is preventing you from moving forward and having a fulfilling life.
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I feel your pain. It is my choice to leave my husband and I have three kids in a very good school system. If he chooses not to pay child support, I will not be able to afford it here. I would have to move closer to my mom and have her help take care of the kids so I can work. But, look, your kids are most important. At 16 and 17, they do not need their lives upside down. They only have a few more years in school, and I really think it makes sense for you to find a way to get your ex to pay the support. I certainly don't think you should let your ex get away with falsifying tax documents and cheating you out of support. It sounds like he is taking advantage of you feeling down and you are allowing him to do it.
I do know that if you are having issues that require hospitalization they very well may grant him temporary custody. Please do not let that pull you down further, which is so easy to do. Get better for your boys, who NEED their mom, especially with such a sad excuse for a dad. All the money and toys in the world will not give them morals. They truly do NEED you and will realize that the money and toys aren't everything. If not, they will have miserable, empty lives.
I wish you the best of luck. I think you can make this situation better if you can stop and think clearly about what is really best for your children.
I am so sorry!
JUST WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU GET megmcb's message:
am so sorry! One of my worst fears is losing my kids to the immoral and immature man who is their father - and having them live not only with him but with the Bimbo he was seeing before he left me. My 14 yo DS has already asked me, pushed by his dad to do so, if he could live with his dad. I said no, absolutely not. But I know there may come a time when he does go. . .like at 16. It makes me sick to my stomach to think about it.
However, you will always be their mom. One year with dad while you get better won't end the world, if that's how it works out. You're in my thoughts! Good Luck!