Speaking ill of you
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| Sun, 08-14-2005 - 1:03pm |
XH has started telling the child that mommy is stealing money from him. This after the court issued a support order XH doesn't want to pay. The Child says he says all kinds of things about Mommy. Bad things. Mommy does bad things.
The Child comes home conflicted. Sad. Rubs my hand when she tells me these things. I just sit there. I hold her in our rocking chair. I ask her how she feels. I say try not to worry about it. I don't really know what to say. I don't want to respond by saying bad things. I want to keep the Child out of the fray. But I don't want the child to believe these lies. They are lies. In the end I say, Daddy is very angry right now so he will say things out of anger. But this is nothing for you to worry about. Mommy and Daddy will always be here to take care of you. And then I bite my tongue really hard and restrain myself.
How do you respond? Should you respond with the truth? -- Daddy has to pay CS and Daddy doesn't want to?

Hugs, Brenda
I would just emphasize to your child that they rely on what they know.
In life, people will say all kinds of things..... and it's most important to not be judgmental to to remember what YOU know about something or someone before you believe what someone else says.
I think that it's OK to be honest and just say that "mommy and daddy are still trying to work some things out, and I want you to trust the way that you feel about me and your daddy by the things that we do around you.... you can see how we treat you and each other and you can decide how you feel about us.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
I agree, a need to know basis and what your doing is just fine.
Eek.... Good luck
Hugs,
I feel VERY strongly about this. & i dont beleive in then saying bad things in response, BUT, i absolutely do tell my dd that "sometimes when Daddy is angry at Mommy, he says bad things about her that are not true". Period.