Speaking of kids dealing with the

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Speaking of kids dealing with the
9
Mon, 03-05-2007 - 10:43pm

craziness.

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2004
Tue, 03-06-2007 - 10:30am
That a good way of putting things.
I am sure in a matter of time things will work out.
Photobucket - Video and Image HostingPhotobucket - Video and Image HostingPhotobucket - Video and Image HostingPhotobucket - Video and Image HostingPhotobucket - Video and Image Hosting
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2006
Tue, 03-06-2007 - 10:53am

it makes me so sad that a childs innocence is lost and/or stolen by a parent who has no clue. how long have you been divorced rlch?

in my case, i am in the early stages of separation. i moved out of the house in january and it has taken me a few weeks to really see just how manipulative STBX is. and also how irrational he is, especially when drunk.

what
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Tue, 03-06-2007 - 12:04pm
I had him removed by the police, with a Restraing order, back in Feb 05. Filed for Divorce 2 days later.

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2006
Tue, 03-06-2007 - 1:17pm

wow!!!

may i pry? i am gathering that he is similar to my husband, alcoholic, depressed? is that why you left (or had him removed??)

what
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2007
Tue, 03-06-2007 - 1:52pm
This is a great answer. I thought it was very insighfull.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Tue, 03-06-2007 - 3:49pm

Sure. Actually, you can go back on the board, expecially maybe even the Domestic Violence New beginnings or the Dealing with Addictions boards, & its ALL there.

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2006
Tue, 03-06-2007 - 6:03pm

r-

first of all, let me start by saying your pictures make me smile. behind the happy face i know there must still be suffering. you are truly a survivor and i would be proud to call you "friend".

our situations are similar, but still quite different. my stbx drinks all the time. i never realized just how much was being consumed. i also didn't realize how manipulative he is. he is a typical alcoholic. he blames everyone and everything for his problems. he is content to sit on the couch, drink and stare blindly at the television. (much like his father) i always accepted it but then one day it hit me; this is not normal. growning up in an alcoholic household where booze was always available, i just assumed it was ok.

i considered leaving stbx several times, once at 2 years, once at 8 years, then about 18 months ago, i realized that his narcissitic alcoholic personality would never change. i was unhappy, the kids were floundering, i had no help. no emotional, physical, mental, spiritual support. i was alone. he didn't go to work, didn't help with the children, didn't pay any bills, didn't do anything for anyone but himself. he calls me and says he loves me and wants me back. he gets jealous if he sees me talking to another man, even if that mans wife is with him. he calls me a whore, a slut, then tells me i should find flattery in his jealousy. whatever..............

i want to be happy, i want him to go away and allow me find out who i am. he has defined me my entire life, (i married him at 19) and before that, my father defined me. it is a quest to see who i am, what i contibute to the world. i want my children to grow and be happy. i want them to have a good education and marry someone who they can spend the rest of their lives with. and i want someone to share these experiences with me. not sit on the couch and sulk and drink and blame everything on me. i'm a good person, who has made mistakes, but we all do.

what
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 03-06-2007 - 9:13pm
Now that's one smart-o kiddo!

Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

Avatar for lisacolette
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2003
Wed, 03-07-2007 - 7:10pm

I have a hormonal imbalance and when my kids were younger, I used to yell and be angry with them all the time. I explained to them that "Mad Mama" was out because I was sick and that I was taking medicine to make "Mad Mama" go away. I assured them that I will *always* love them no matter what and that MM was not staying. They really took to that explanation and now that I have my hormones in check (and Mad Mama's gone), they're happier and I am too. When I feel upset, I let them know that I'm angry and I need to control it so MM doesn't make a comeback. I'm amazed at how well they're adapting and dealing with their own anger now. Now if I could just get STBX taking meds...

:)