Spousal Support/Custody Support Question

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-25-2003
Spousal Support/Custody Support Question
3
Fri, 12-30-2005 - 10:30am

my STBX have been separated for one year and it's time, now, to start to move foward with the process of divorce. We have agreed on mediation. We were married for 14 years and lived together for 5 before that. We have two sons, ages 11 and 8. We live in California. I have worked as a freelance journalists--not making much money to speak of--and have primarily been a stay at home mother. A year ago, i started my own business, which is doing well--and has great potential, but is not yet breaking even, but is close.

My question: how much spousal support and child support can i ask for? And for what duration of time? My husband makes a good deal of money and then receives a yearly 100,000 bonus at the end of the year that is paid in January. Will his income that helps me with support also include that bonus money?

I have heard from friends that 50% is a good expectation. Does that sound reasonable--and that the amount of money depends on how long we were married and what our custody situation is. Currently, he has the children one evening a week for dinner and then every other weekend. My guess is that is an 80/20 custody arrangment.

Does anyone know what happens if i chose to remarry? Does support stop then?

Any help would be appreciated. I have called a mediator and hope that my husband and she can meet with us sometime early in the new year, but i wanted to have a clear understanding of some things prior to going into that meeting.

Also, does anyone know anything about "Family Support" and how does that differ from spousal and or child custody.

My X and i are very good friends and thus far the split has been very amicable. He also has a great deal of shares in his company. Is that something that would also be split?

Any help?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2004
Fri, 12-30-2005 - 10:57am

So glad that you and your ex have so far had an amicable separation. Don't take that for granted--it's hugely important. I take it from your post that you are trying to do this divorce without attorneys? The mediator should be familiar with the California laws as relate to the financial issues, but I suggest that you research this on your own. You might benefit from a legal consult prior to going to mediation, just to get information. And you don't have to tell STBX that you got info. from an attorney--he might panic and start to get ugly. I also suggest you get on the internet and research the laws in CA--you can probably read the actual family law code as relates to support amounts. Go to the library and get books on divorce agreements. The information is out there and is plentiful. Be pro-active. Don't wait for your STBX to suggest something, have your own plan. Don't rely on what your friends do, every situation is unique, what works for one, may not work for another family.

Good luck to you. If you and your children's father can continue to get along well, you will be so much happier and so will your children. Respect and cooperation are vital to co-parenting after divorce. I wish I had some. Don't do anything to jeopardize that!

Good luck to you in your new business venture.

Cupcake

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2004
Fri, 12-30-2005 - 9:48pm

To my knowledge, California is a community property state, so you can expect a 50/50 split. They will calculate child support/spousal support based on his income, which should include his bonuses, since they are part of his income. He obviously makes very good money, so the amount should be very good. Hopefully things will be civil and amicable, and hopefully he isn't the type that would hide assets from you to avoid including them in the final settlement. Good luck to you.

P.S. Where at in California do you live? I've always dreamed of living there.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2005
Fri, 12-30-2005 - 10:10pm

Your mediator should be able to help you figure out the best financial settlement. I think, but I'm not sure, that there are different tax ramifications to you and/or your H depending on whether the support is deemed spousal, child, or family.

In the past few years there has been a trend toward mediation - now there are special law firms that only handle divorce mediation - they will only work with couples who have no disputes about child custody, etc. I would recommend checking out something like that. I live in Northern California - if you do too and you want some names of mediators, e mail me at kwest11@comcast.net.

Take care and keep doing what you're doing - it sounds like you and your STBX are handling this as well as possible.