Stab me twice....why don't ya!
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| Thu, 07-19-2007 - 11:23pm |
Ok, I am new to this but i want to give you the whole story in a fast forward kinda way so you are not sitting here reading too much.
I just went through a pretty bad divorce, well i say it's bad but compared to some it's probably nothing. I meet my ex-husband in January of 2002. It was almost love at first sight I think. We meet that night and saw each other everynight since then until he had to move out of the city. When he told me he had to leave we had only been seein each other for about four months. I thought it was over; he wanted to keep it going. I was shocked not too many guys I've known was interested in the long distance thing. So I was really happy. About three months later we decided for me to move in with him. It was bitter, sweet. I left my good paying job, school and move bout 250 miles away from my family. But it was great being with him again. I drained my savings and even went into a little debit but it all worked out. I got a good job and he started making good money. We were happy. Needless to say, as most couple we had our moments, but overall we were really happy. Two years went by all good, a few bumps in the road but it seemed like they only brought us closer. In November of 2003 he proposed to me in front of my family. It was great, not the most romantic candle light setting but I am a big family person and him doing it in front of my family meant a lot. A year went by, planning the wedding, working, enjoying each other. It was great I was happier than I had ever been. The wedding came fast, we didn't really have a big wedding; family close friends but it was fun. Not too long after the wedding, well it was actually before but we didn't think about it until after the wedding we found we had a bun in the oven. He was excited and happy; I was very scared and nervous. I didn't know what to think. I wanted to have childern very much but I was young and didn't know if i was ready. At that same time, there was not one thought in my mind that I would do anything but keep and raise my now beatiful baby girl. We talked about it and he told me he loved me very much and he would always be there fore me and we would go through everything together. Throughout the pregency he was 100 percent right. He was there, he went to every appointment with me, took time off work when I needed him to. Helped me enjoy my pregency as much as I could. When our daughter was born, he was there as much as he could. He took time off work to be with me at home. Looking back now he could of done more to help with the baby directly but at least he was there for moral support. When found out that his place of business was closing down in that city and we had a choice to stay with the company in a different of unknown location or to leave the company. He would say otherwise now, but we sat down and talked about it and together decided he would go back to school and get his licence to become an emt like he had been years back. After he was finished with school we would move back home (where we meet) and buy a house and live there. With a new born and me out of work for a long time, money was a little tight so we borrowed the money from my parents for him to go back to school. If you ask him know he says if they would have never done that, then we would still be married. But he is still working in the career that my parent paid for his schooling. Anyways, we moved back home in December 2005 with our 6 month old daughter. Again, money was tight with neither of having jobs so we lived with family for a little while. About 3-4 months later we finally got stable and got our own place. We were looking for a house but he didn't understand that we cant just buy the first thing we saw. So we ended up renting. This is getting long i will try and shortned it up. Anyways he was in his new job for about three months when he told me he had meet up with an old "friend". This friend was in the picture before we had meet. When i asked about her he said they were just friends because she was too young for him. Well it turns out he told me about her a long while after he had meet up with her. All of a sudden we started having problems. He "wanted out". I now know this "friend" was very interested in him while we were married. I also know now that the temptation overtook him and ...well I don't think i need to give the details. I did not know anything had happened until just recently. We split in May of 2006 and it was very very hard for me. I had loved him with all my heart. I felt he could do no wrong. I was heart broken more than you could believe. I had an 11 month baby he left me with, bills that were in my name- he didn't pay for crap. It was horrible. The only reason I keep my head up was because my little girl needed me. Time went on and he wanted to come back a couple time but because it wasn't on his terms and only his terms he ended up changing his mind. He wasn't paying any child support, didn't care to see his daughter unless it worked around his schdule and was saving money because he moved out of our place and was living with family. The day he called me and asked if it would be ok to buy a new truck, and me not try and take it from him because we were still married and all was the day I hired my attorney. I still did not want the divorce but I wasn't going to give everything without a little in return. I filed for divorce in September because I needed him to know he had a responsiblity to help support our daughter. The divorce was final in November of 2006, the same month we started our live togther just 2 years ago. He now does pay childsupport because it is garnished from his check and he figures if he has to pay for his daughter he aut to see her too. So he does have visitation three days a week, no overnights though. After the divorce was final i asked him to talk, he din't really want to but he did a little. I came right and asked why this happened, he didn't have any good answers. I asked if he cheated on me and he said no that was the last reason why.
Now, he is in a "relationship" with the "friend" i mentioned before and posted this blog on his myspace-
"Women Vs. Commitment
Current mood: confused
Category: Romance and Relationships
What is it with women these days? I know of more women right now that are pretty scared of commitment that I don't know what to do. I don't understand it. I know the stereo-type, all men are alike, scared to commit, but recently it's the women. This is insane!
What is it that scares a girl about a man wanting to settle down and take care of her, to provide for her every need, to help her relax 'when she's stressed? What is it that scares a woman when a man wants to be there for her, emotionally and physically? How is it a woman can just walk away so easily and find no emotion in what the man has to offer? How is it the woman can go out with other people and forget about the man that will give her everything, but when the man goes out he can't get her off of his mind? When did the stereo-typical life turn around? Do women not want to be commited these days? What are they so scared of? Scared of getting hurt? Scared that they may miss another opprotunity?
I don't understand why a woman wouldn't want to be loved so much that the man in her life would give his own to make her happy. I don't know why a woman wouldn't commit to someone that she knows loves her with the deepest part of his heart yet wants to see her happy, wether it's with him or not. Why wouldn't a woman commit to someone who she has feelings for and someone who has feelings for her? Is this the new trend? Is it time that the women are the players and the men are the game?
I know I have always been one to be honest about how I feel and tell the woman how I feel and I have never, I mean never, met any girl that didn't want the man to commit 100% to her, until recently. I know of more then 1 woman right now that just will not commit to the guy because apparently the young night life, the excitment of not knowing what tomorrow brings and the spontaneous men in their life is much more important then a honest, sincere commitment that would bring years of happiness to her and her future family. Someone please explain!!!!!'
AM I THE ONLY ONE THAT WAS LEFT WITH MY JAW HANGIN OPEN. He is the biggest loser i know to date. Probably the biggest i will ever meet.
Where are all the good men!!!!!
| Fri, 07-20-2007 - 3:49pm |
