STB-X wants to be "friends"
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STB-X wants to be "friends"
| Wed, 08-06-2008 - 8:21am |
I received a call last night from my stb-x H and he wanted to apologize for abandoning me in the hospital and moving out. He was surprised that I filed for D so fast and that I have not returned any of his emails or calls.
He wanted to know if we could be "friends". I told him that he had lost of all of my love and respect. I suggested that he look inside himself to determine whom he really is and then get back to me. As for now, I told him Thanks but no Thanks. My family and friends are helping me prepare for Cancer surgery.
Why would someone ask such a stupid question?
stunned08

He wants to feel you out and gauge how miffed you really are!
Rachel
I got asked that question too!! Except I got it in more of a 'poor me' way.. My STBX says, "I hope we can still be friends."
Stunned,
Friendship with an EX is possible. Just not right away. You were correct to set boundaries and state how his actions affected you. I'm especially proud of you for putting the responsibility for "HIS" feelings right back in his lap with your "think about it and get back to me" comment!
It may be possible to have a platonic relationship at some point in the future. Or not. That choice is yours and it will take as much time as you need. I can safely say I'm "friends" with my Ex, but it didn't happen immediately. In the 11 years since our divorce I think we communicate annually (no kids) and neither one of us expects more than a Christmas card. ;-)
Focus on getting well. It sounds like you have great support from friends and family as you face this medical crisis. That's where your energy needs to be. Your Ex's need for "friendship" can wait.
Best wishes. My prayers are with you as you deal with cancer.
CL-Wisdomtooth2020