STBX call making me anxious

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
STBX call making me anxious
4
Fri, 08-22-2008 - 10:38am

I had the pleasure of not having to talk to or see STBX all week since we had an argument on Sunday and he hung up the phone on me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2008
Fri, 08-22-2008 - 11:26am

I think you hit the nail on the head Music, when you said, "It's like his way of keeping a foothold in my life." That's exactly what he's trying to do. And maybe not on purpose, but subconsiously he's also trying to make you miserable (maybe since he's miserable with his life because of the MI?!?)...just a thought. I also think you're in that limbo time...not together, not divorced....so hard to define. So hard to decide what is OK and what is too much time or togetherness since you're divorcing.


My advice (FWIW), is if his contact is causing you angst, then avoid him. Can the porch wait? I know it'd be nice to have it done, but not at the expense of your physical or mental health. And keeping him at bay might be just what you need right now, esp since he's finally out of the house.


I'm very much a "go-get-'em" and "full speed ahead" type of woman (like you sound too)...but with me being the only adult, in a household where I'm outnumbered by two young children, I've tried to cut myself some slack. Like the new oak kitchen cabinets STBX installed in December (2007) and they haven't been stained or painted yet. It's driving me nuts, and I don't think it's especially good for the bare wood to be exposed in a kitchen, but my time (and mental health) is so limited at this point I've just had to let it be.


So I guess I'm just saying to maybe steer clear of him and not put yourself through the feelings if you can avoid it this weekend. Don't give him the opportunity to get to you...and a little distance might help that. I hate that you're having these feelings...it just stinks. Big hugs!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Fri, 08-22-2008 - 12:02pm
It is just so annoying since I have been waiting since LAST summer to get this done.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2008
Fri, 08-22-2008 - 1:09pm

"Belive me, I have a lot to do in the house cause he never got around to doing anything."


Believe me, I get it...H "mark"

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Fri, 08-22-2008 - 1:27pm
STBX will make a stab at doing things, but then get bored w/ it.