STBX called GAL this morning...
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| Thu, 04-28-2005 - 2:46pm |
and reported to him that I told my 6 yo everything that happened in court the other day. Now the GAL is upset with me because of that report. I did not tell her anything other than she was going to her dad's and that she is not allowed to sleep with dad anymore. He has once again twisted things to make me look bad.
As I was talking to her this morning, she blurts out that her dad is planning on moving to CA and taking her with him, when I go to jail, (most of you know that story). The GAL has already recommended to the courts that my STBX not be allowed to have our dd more than 6 hours a week and no overnights at all. She is in danger of being sexually abused in his home because his son abuses drugs and alcohol on a regular basis, and is heavily into pornography. The story goes on and on.
I'm extremely unhappy and scared that his threats to take my dd and move somewhere far away where I will never see her again, will become a reality. He has threatened to do this throughout out marriage and now that the divorce is almost final, he may just do it.
I reported this to the GAL but I'm almost positive that the GAL is getting fed up with what is happening. I report something, STBX reports something...it's now becoming a he said/she said situation where the GAL may recommend that neither one of us has custody.
Any takes on this?

That was yesterday morning...this morning, my atty. called and told me the judge rescinded his recent order to the newest order of NO MORE OVERNIGHTS with STBX until further notice!!! He has been given a very limited visitation schedule and has been told that if he chooses not to follow it then he will be in danger of losing parenting rights altogether. Apparently, STBX said something to the GAL during their conversation that put the RED flags up and he reported it to the judge.
When my atty. called he said that my STBX threatened the GAL (either it was towards me or the GAL personally) and the GAL decided that it is NOT SAFE for me to have any contact with him therefore, the dropoffs will be at the police station or by a third neutral party. This has gotten to be the worst situation possible for dd and I feel so sorry for her. I just don't know what else to do as she suffers from severe asthma and needs medicine 2X daily. When she's there, he doesn't give her medication and she comes home with an attack almost every weekend. He smokes in the car with her and lets his son smoke around her too. I myself, am on day #16 without smoking. I never did smoke around her or in my car but the dr. said that even the smell on my clothes or my hair could trigger an attack. So I QUIT!
I know that this is the best thing possible for her, but STBX will be seething with anger and will come up with even more BS to make my life miserable. Now I am scared! What will he do next?
Melanie
A huge congratulations to you on quitting!!! You may find it extra hard, while quitting smoking, to be strong and calm when your Stbx is playing his games. I am so glad to hear that the exchanges are now set up in a way that you can avoid having to speak to him. The less you hear of his taunting, the better.
It sounds like others are beginning to see your Stbx's true self. It can be important, at such times, to sit back a bit and let the others just observe for themselves. They might be distracted from making observations about him if you call too often to report new infractions. I think that you have sensed this, I think that you know it's time to walk softly. If your DD is placed in serious danger, then report it, by all means. Concentrate on making each of your days with DD happy ones, and it won't matter one whit what kinds of things he says to her, or about you.
Hey Melanie,
Hi Melanie.... and GOOD FOR YOU for quitting smoking.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
Thanks Karen! I had already had her registered with our local police dept. but hadn't thought about the passport thing...I honestly don't believe that he would try leaving the country with her, but who knows? He's done some whoppers in his life and just might attempt to do this! Better safe than sorry, right? I will do the passport thing ASAP!
As far as the watch locator, he knows all about this too and will recognize it if she wears it...however, I could sew it inside her coat or bag if need be...I think her coat would be better as she isn't spending anymore nights at his house...
Saturday he came and picked her up for their 3 hour visitation. 45 minutes before she was due to be returned, he had her call me and tell me that she was going over to his grown dd's house to play with the boys (his dd's children) and that she would be late . I told her no you need to be home by 3:00 p.m. and no later. I asked to speak to him but he wouldn't get on the phone. Needless to say, he brought her home 10 minutes early. He blames me for everything that has happened, and will never admit that he did this to himself...the abuser never does. He will never change and I feel so sorry for the next woman he does this to. If only there was a way to stop him...
I am sticking to my guns with this man...when he did this to me and his dd, he thought I wouldn't fight back, but he was soooooooo WRONG! I am a good person and worth so much more! I am the BETTER parent and it has been proven without a doubt!!! Maybe someday, he will see the real person that he is when he looks in the mirror. Doubt it but one can hope!
Melanie
I was looking for something that was GPS that was smaller... and less obvious.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
Karen ~ wildlucky4me
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~