stbx called to say he wants me back

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
stbx called to say he wants me back
14
Tue, 04-05-2005 - 1:46pm

We both agreed that we haven't been happy. We have mediation the end of this month. I don't know why he is saying he wants me back. He said that he would sell the house and move anywhere I want and that he would be happy because he would be with us (me and our two kids). It's been really hard being a single parent, and I'm tempted. But won't history repeat itself. We'll be happy for maybe a month or two and then it will be just how it was before. I knew Valentine's Day that it was never going to work out. I could not find one card that said how I felt about him. I don't miss him, just the idea of him. And I think it's the same for him. He misses his kids, and wants to have a wife and his kids at home. But I don't think it's me he really wants. Wouldn't we just be wasting more of each others time? I'm really confused right now. Had a really rough week, just needed to vent. Thank you for listening.

Liza

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 04-05-2005 - 5:24pm

I think that one of the hardest things to acknowledge in a divorce is that... there were good times... and it's OK to miss them, remember them, and even to wish you still had them.


So many times we want to think that it's either all love or hate in order to make sense of it all... and it's not.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2005
Tue, 04-05-2005 - 8:46pm
i felt the same things you are, my ex wanted to get back too.
but youre right, history will repeat.
in fact we separated more than once before we actually divorced. three times.
unfortunately it just dragged out the inevitable and made the anger grow, because nothing actually changed (in our case he was the problem, which he even admits, but he wasnt willing to change it)
good luck
be strong
it will get easier in time
:)
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Tue, 04-05-2005 - 8:52pm

>>>I've been happier without him, my friend's and family have all noticed a big difference in me. And I notice it too and I like having the old me back in my life (if that makes any sense). I smile and laugh now, I can't tell you the last time I did that when I was with him.<<<<

This happened to me too. I didn't realize now much I was not being myself, just by pretending everything was okay all the time. Several people commented to me after we separated that I sounded truly happy for the first time in a long time.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2004
Tue, 04-05-2005 - 11:09pm

What a perfect night for me to read this thread.

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