STBX H and the kids
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| Mon, 06-27-2005 - 3:33am |
My STBX H is the world's worst father. First off he only has contact of any kind with our two kids once every two weeks. He picks them up Saturday afternoon and drops them off Sunday afternoon every other weekend.
Well when he has them, he ditches them to go do other things. For instance, two weeks ago he had the kids. I went out with some friends. First time I've gone out with friends since my oldest was born. We went to a place that's only open in the summer and has arcades, rides, little shops, and 50's style restaurants. Well low and behold I ran into my STBX and he didn't have the kids with him. I asked him where the kids were and he said with his dad. So I called STBX FIL. I asked how long the kids had been there. STBX H had picked the kids up from me at 1:00pm and dropped the kids off at his dad's at 4:00pm. It was 11:00pm when I saw STBX. The excuse he gave was he was invited to a BBQ and didn't want the kids with him and then his friend called and said he needed someone to talk to so they went up to this place. Needless to say I found out STBX was going to pick the kids up from his dad's and then drop them off at his mom's so I went and picked them up.
Now Friday our two month old little girl had a doctor's appointment. I found out her tear ducts aren't functioning properly and she has to be on medicine. If the medicine doesn't fix the problem, she will have to have surgery. I called STBX after I got out of the appointment (he works second shift). It was noon. I told him what was going on and inquired if he had received her insurance card from his insurance company yet because I needed to get her medicine. His response was, "I don't know what to tell you, I'm going back to bed." Wow wasn't that a total lack of concern for his child.
Now Saturday he came to take the kids for an over nighter. I didn't let the baby go because STBX would have forgotten to give her her medicine. So he just took our two year old. I called to check up on him as I always do because he tends to flip out. As a matter of fact my two year olds favorite word is mama and often tells me not to go and cries when he has to go with his dad. First STBX told me he was sleeping and told me to call back later. Then when I called back, STBX confessed he left DS with his dad while he was at an open house so DS was not with him.
I really want to smack him!

Hi there :)
Hugs to you... I know this stinks.
First thing, my daughter is 18 months and had a tear duct obstruction since she was born. They did not allow the surgery to be done until March, but it went well. She is perfect now. No problems. I think it was harder on me than her...lol.
My X didn't want to be there for her surgery either. He acted like he cared at first and then when the time came, he wouldn't answer the phone or emails from me about it. I sat there all alone in the hospital with my daughter scared to death thinking wow, XH is the epitomy of jerk.
I also have every other weekend visitation with XH. He gets the kids 4 days a month. I am finding out more and more that XH passes our 6 year old off on his mother for overnights among other things. It angers me to no end.
You have to know that it will be XH that will lose in the end. When the kids get old enough to make the decision NOT to go with XH he will be the one who is hurt. He will be the failure. You will be the one the kids look up to and respect because you put your "all" into them. I keep looking into the future. That's how I stay sane. I don't like the decisions XH makes in his time nor do I care for the things that happen while they are with him, but I know that in the future, my kids will respect me and love me for taking care of them. They will KNOW I love them and find stability in that..... they will question their father. We can make it all better for the kids, we can't fix XH.
Hugs to you sweetie, and those little ones!
Angelena
I just hope my daughter doesn't need the surgery.
I must say my son does the darndest things. He showed his father the other day just how much distaste he has for the things he does. When he dropped our son off, he demanded that our son give him a hug and a kiss. Instead my ex got a punch in the face. I of course told him no about doing that but was secretly laughing on the inside.
My son didn't learn to hit from me. My ex has been teaching him to head butt and stuff since he was 11 months old.