STBX knows zip about when she's sick

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
STBX knows zip about when she's sick
4
Sun, 03-30-2008 - 2:25pm

What can I do? He scares me.
One time last year when I was working, he took her home when she had a fever. I told him to give her ibuprofen. I get home and he has her under two blankets, and she's burning up. I asked him what he gave her, and he shows me benadryl. I ask him why and he says he thought it was ibuprofen.
Mind you, he is extremely intelligent and a computer programmer. He just knows nothing about first aid, sickness, or anything. He also has been having a lot of memory problems lately and probably has some kind of mental illness like bipolar disorder.
Anyway so he took her overnight last night. I showed him the ibuprofen, vick's vaporub and where they were. I told him how often to give it to her.
I pick her up this morning and he tells me that he couldn't find the medicine. I showed him last night that it was in the side pocket! And instead of just picking up the phone and calling me, he had the guy he's staying with go out and buy her some cold and cough medicine.
I looked at the box, and the lowest age listed was six. I asked him how he knew how much to give her, and he said he just gave her a fourth of the amount for a six year old. (She's three)
I told him that they're actually outlawing cough medicine for small children because so many kids have died from parents giving the wrong amount.

I talked to my counselor about this issue. She said he's just going to have to learn on his own and I should trust him. I pointed out that if her temp goes above a certain level, he needs to take her to the ER. What if she has meningitis or she goes into a coma or has brain damage because he doesn't know what he's doing or gives her the wrong thing?

I don't know what the usual procedure is in cases like this. I would like him to take some kind of class on first aid and childhood sicknesses, because he obviously isn't going to listen to me or call me.
He is estranged from his mother and I don't think he'd even call her if they weren't estranged. He just thinks he knows everything and won't listen to common sense.

I don't know what to do, I feel like I'm putting her life in danger leaving her there.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Fri, 04-04-2008 - 11:15am

If he can't remember what you are telling him, a class isn't going to help him.


First off--write down simple instructions for him.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 04-04-2008 - 1:03pm
Thanks, the color coding is a great idea! I am going to try to get him to call me if he has questions, but he told me he didn't want to call me because then I'd think that he didn't know what he was doing. (insert eye roll here)

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Fri, 04-04-2008 - 2:46pm
Well, that's where you have to get honest with him and just say, "hey, I know that isn't one of your strong points, this is our daughter's health we're talking about... and I'd be more upset if she was uncomfortable... was given with wrong drug/wrong dose... or something more serious happened.

Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-13-2007
Fri, 04-04-2008 - 7:25pm

A few words of advice, speaking as a guy with a technology career.