STBX not looking well
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| Sat, 08-23-2008 - 7:38pm |
I knew it was a matter of time before STBX called me since he needed his desk. I wasn't going to call him since I don't really feel like talking to him, since he was the one who was rude by hanging up on me in the last conv. So he called me Fri. a.m. and said that his DD was going to come over and help him after work get his desk over to his apt. but they had to use my minivan. So while he was waiting for her, he takes all the drawers out (that aren't empty) and puts them in the trunk of his car. Then when she gets there, they carry it out to the van and guess what? it doesn't fit. Well, it probably would have fit only if he took out the rear seat and maybe the middle seat too. It was too wide for the car. Based on past experience when you take the seats out, it is a real pain in the neck to get them back in, so he just said forget it. I'll just throw out the desk w/ the trash. I said "don't you know anyone w/ a pickup truck who can help you?" (He knows the guy across the hall, who is a painter, so he might have a truck and anyway, he works in a hardware store, so I'm sure he knows a lot of people who have trucks. He says no, he'll just throw it out, which seems dumb to me, but it's not my desk, so if he wants to throw it out, fine by me.
anyway, it has only been a week or maybe 10 days since I saw him last and he has lost more weight and didn't look very good. He has many diseases besides the mental one, the ones I know about are gastric reflux, heart diease and high blood pressure. For a while last year, it seemed like he was going to different doctors every week, first different cardiologists, then kidney specialists (cause at first they thought he had diabetes then they said no), then oncologists. The thing is that every time I would ask him what was wrong, he was very vague about it--they are doing tests, but he wouldn't even tell me what they were testing for. so today he was supposed to go for more tests, but I don't know for what. I kind of feel guilty, but then again, he didn't share much w/ me when we were supposedly together. he is very strange that way, he likes to keep everything so private, but really, shouldn't your spouse know what's going on? I told him that my cousin had cancer and his reaction was "why would he tell everyone in the family?" Well, that's what most normal people do cause they know everyone is concerned about them.
So he keeps talking about coming over to paint, but really, I don't think he looks healthy enough to do much. I really don't want him to have a heart attack.

ML,
This is precisely the reason that your STBX is ill ... because he keeps it all inside.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
I think it's more complicated than that. Yesterday he stopped over fora minute cause he was in the neighborhood & he told me that he has a problem w/ his eye which is like a cararact so he will have to have that type of surgery in a few years. he is being sent to a special eye hospital in Boston that is very good. So then I asked him what about his kidney problems cause I thought that was what he was having tests on and he said that some medicine he is taking (I don't know which one, cause he's on so many) is causing kidney problems. Then he actually got so upset that he went into the basement, out the back door, got in his car & left.
So I do feel kind of guilty leaving him w/ all these health problems, but on the other hand I don't want to spend the rest of my life taking care of him either since that will cause him to be that much more miserable & depressed. I know that sounds selfish.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~