STBX starting to scare me...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
STBX starting to scare me...
2
Tue, 09-19-2006 - 4:06am
It's been just over two weeks since I told STBX that I wanted a divorce, and today I went and filed papers with my attorney & paid the retainer. He should get served early next week. In the meantime, my husband is starting to scare the crap out of me with the constant angry bluster and threats to take custody of our son, force me to sell the house and split proceeds 50/50, and force me to pay spousal support. We've only been married three years (the seven years before that he wasn't involved in my son's life), and during that time I put him through graduate school and paid all the bills on my nurse's salary. He has terrible cradit, so the house, the car, etc., are all in my name because I was the only one who could get financing for these things and make the payments. I live in Oregon (which is a marital property state, I'm told) and I expected to have to split some things with him, but losing custody and paying him spousal support?!! Surely he's bluffing? I don't think he has a leg to stand on and my attorney says he might draw things out by contesting, but she doesn't think he has any chance of winning on these points. I'm trying to tell myself that, but it's so SCARY when there's so much at stake.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2006
Tue, 09-19-2006 - 11:59pm
This sounds really familiar. I put my husband through school, at least providing him room and board for 4 years. He has bad credit so everything is in my name. However, recently things became really lousy between us and I talked to an attorney yesterday, In Pennsylvania, he is entitled to half of all my assets and half the actual increase in value of property that I have out of state. Either way, I am looking at a $50,000 loss if he goes after me.
I doubt he can get custody of your son, since it doesn't sound like it is his son. I think these guys hate being thrown out, because inspite of their behavior they would rather be in a comfy environment in which we take care of them.
Interesting we are both in "helping" professions, I am a physical therapist.
I don't know if it is good or bad, but the financial side of this has caused me to rethink divorcing him. He hasn't officially cheated, but has done drugs and been on an internet singles website as well as being obsessed with porn.
He actually let me put parental controls on our computer. It is so frustrating, I don't know whether I am his wife or his mother.
Sorry for the rant!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2006
Wed, 09-20-2006 - 11:56am

I'm sorry you are going through this. How scary!!! I know nothing about the legalities, but I hope it works out in your favor. I'm going through some of the same fear and it is very, very hard. (((hugs)))

Kate

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