Stepmom and second family
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Stepmom and second family
| Tue, 03-08-2005 - 2:13pm |
Hi everyone: I'm new to the discussion board and wanted to vent about some things. I've been married for 2 years to a wonderful man. We just recently had a baby girl and loving life. He also has an 8 year old from a previous marriage that ended about a year before we had met. I had accepted his son into my life before we got engaged. The problem is his former wife. She drives me absolutely crazy and has been putting my husband through hell for the past 10 years about child support money. We recently moved to another state when he got a promotion. (his son lives with his mom in another state) I was releived because no. 1, I was GLAD to get away from her. No 2., I always felt like she was using us to watch him all the time, though there was nothing I could do about it because I have no say. No. 3 I don't entirely agree with the way she raises him. She has manipulated her son against my husband; and this guy she recently married I feel is turning him into a little tough man becasue the guy she married is a Navy SEAL. This guy she married encourages our stepson to collect knives and weapons and has them in his room. He never uses them, but I feel it's pretty wierd. I feel that there is no consistency in their house and my poor stepson says things to us that his mom puts in his head. She also recently found out how much $$ my husband makes and is asking for more child support. It really scared me becasue we just had a baby and I know she has her son's interests in mind, but I don't really think she cares about my husband's second family now that we have had a baby. I got so furious at her actions that I threw out all the baby gifts that she got for my daughter. But recently my husband talked her out of the child support thing and has agreed to set up a college fund for his son.
I feel like I am always anxious around his son, although I love him to death. I don't know how I'm going to make it over the next couple of years with this mess. She has had my husband arrested, put in jail, and he's even lost a couple of jobs because of her. I've been friendly with her, but frankly due to recent events I just can't stand the woman. Her son has no idea what a manipulative freak she is. I hope he realizes when he is older what she has put us through. How will I survive?
I feel like I am always anxious around his son, although I love him to death. I don't know how I'm going to make it over the next couple of years with this mess. She has had my husband arrested, put in jail, and he's even lost a couple of jobs because of her. I've been friendly with her, but frankly due to recent events I just can't stand the woman. Her son has no idea what a manipulative freak she is. I hope he realizes when he is older what she has put us through. How will I survive?

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well.. my situation stinks, but, I know that there are worse out there. I feel lucky that I got all that I got out of the divorce and now I realize it was for the best.
I'm sorry for all you went through all that you did with his ex wife...... I guess we all have our own stories, don't we? lol.
I guess I can say good luck with everything, just try and be patient. Things will work out.
Hugs,
Angelena
Just thought I might mention that the book I recommended, "Ex-etitquette" starts out with a mom and step-mom who hate each other and over time how they figure each other out and learn to be friends. It is not possible in every case to accomplish this, but it goes to show you that sometimes hating each other is just something you start out doing no matter what, and it can be the result of incorrect assumptions on both individual's parts. It's worth reading for anyone who is co-parenting.
"Ex-etiquette for Parents: Good Behavior After a Divorce Or Separation" by Jann Blackstone-Ford, Sharyl Jupe
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