Still hurting

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-19-2003
Still hurting
11
Thu, 02-09-2012 - 8:59pm

My husband left nearly four years ago, after an almost 30 year marriage. A woman he met online moved in within 9 months later.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
In reply to: shukat
Fri, 02-10-2012 - 2:52am

I really feel for you. it has got to be really hard to have your marriage end after 30 years of marriage. What

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2011
In reply to: shukat
Fri, 02-10-2012 - 10:31am

It's time for you to move on. Yes, they are playing mean games with you, and that is not nice, but it doesn't look like you can control that. All you can do is change your reaction to it. And just think how much it must annoy the GF to have to hand you that check every month. I don't know what your interaction with her is like, but it sounds like he is a malicious manipulator. Treat her with sympathy and disdain.

The best revenge is a life well led, and that is what you have to figure out how to do. Are you active in your community or church? Are you taking care of yourself? Find some things that you enjoy and get activly involved.

As far as your daughter, just be open and available to her. If she is living with them, she is hearing that side of the story only. Give her time.

Keep us posted! You wil get a lot of good advice on here.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
In reply to: shukat
Fri, 02-10-2012 - 11:11am
Thing is you are letting THEM control your life and your happiness by not moving on. Do you have friends you can go out with? Do you attend a church? If not you need to join some activities where you can make friends. I don't say this to be mean, but sitting home and wallowing in your misery will never allow you to move on.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
In reply to: shukat
Fri, 02-10-2012 - 11:12am

Do you think your ex would be willing to do direct deposit or does he just like being a jerk?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2007
In reply to: shukat
Fri, 02-10-2012 - 1:00pm

Mean people enjoy it when they win.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-19-2003
In reply to: shukat
Mon, 02-13-2012 - 8:20pm
My brother lives 5 hours away, and the rest of my family will not get involved. When the check was lost in October, he almost missed the court deadline, which is for me to have it by the 15th of the month.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-19-2003
In reply to: shukat
Mon, 02-13-2012 - 8:25pm
My daughter has blocked me from emailing, texting, or calling her. My alimony check is due by the 15th of the month. In October, he almost missed the deadline when the post office lost it. I do work, I am a special education teacher, I work with autistic children.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2011
In reply to: shukat
Mon, 02-13-2012 - 8:48pm
Why did your daughter do all that?
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-19-2003
In reply to: shukat
Mon, 02-13-2012 - 10:32pm
We got into a fight on her birthday last August. She can be very sweet, but she has been mean to me at times. I was upset because her boyfriend was going to dinner with her and my ex husband and the person he lives with. I told her I would like to meet her boyfriend, and she said no, that she was ashamed of me. She was so snippy to me at her college graduation, that I almost left. When she talks to me it is like she is following script, it sounds exactly like her father.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
In reply to: shukat
Tue, 02-14-2012 - 2:21am

Sounds like there must be more to it than that. Why would she be ashamed of you? Do you think your ex is brain washing her or really bad mouthing you to her? Since talking to her isn't working, maybe you should write her a letter telling her that you don't understand her hostility towards you.

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