Still in limbo...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2005
Still in limbo...
4
Mon, 10-08-2007 - 10:13am

well, it's going on four months that my husband & i have been separated - we've went to counseling & spent several hours discussing issues etc. we still aren't 100% clear on everything, however we're pretty much there - the problem is, deciding how to proceed.


one of our issues was him being too ready to talk about separation/divorce, from the very beginning - which isn't a good idea, however the problem was more in the fact that it was still technically "his" house b/c it was his when i moved in - unless you've been married for a significant amt of time (we were @ 2yrs)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 10-16-2007 - 9:09am

Hi Laurel.... what's happening?


I just wante to croak over when I read "his grounds for separation were b/c i didn't wear lingerie & cook meals for him".... he *really* needs to get a grip (and if my EX had outright said that, I would have threatened to kill him :-) ...at least to myself!)


Hope you're having a good week.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me

Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2005
Tue, 10-16-2007 - 9:20am
lol - yeh, well he never actually said it - but he referred to his reasoning behind the separation being due to his "simple requests" not being met (eye roll) - like you said, he needed to get a grip - maybe he has, maybe he hasn't? i know we've gotten together & he has apologized for his irrational behavior & we have discussed other issues that were actually major to the marriage - we've found some resolve, but there is still more work to do - so for now, i'm enjoying life & the break from the kids when he has them - and we are actually just hanging out & spending time here & there which is really nice - if it weren't for kids & finances, i wouldn't go anywhere - and i'm doing my best to not allow those in being factors if we reconcile - he definitely needed a wake up call & attitude adjustment - of course my only concern is that if i did move back in, that he would pull the same crap all over again - but...one of the resolutions is putting my name on the deed to where it's not so easy for him to tell me to get out or act like a two-yr-old (we already have those) when he's not getting his way etc. - but even w/that...we'll see - i'm in no hurry & have promised myself that i'm not going anywhere until i feel 100% comfortable w/things ;)
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 10-16-2007 - 9:28am

Well, if he's not going to "commit" to sharing a home with you.... raelly sharing it 100%, then he's not 100% committed to the relationship.


You are being smart for not being in a hurry.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2005
Tue, 10-16-2007 - 9:32am
I couldn't agree more - thx :)