Strange request - is it possible?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2007
Strange request - is it possible?
2
Fri, 10-12-2007 - 7:24pm

I really think that my H hasn't thought things completely through. He left very abruptly and without even giving our marriage a fair shot. Now he won't speak with me, barely emails me, and refuses to meet with me. This is all very hard on me because we got along so well for the 8 years we've been together and the 6 that we were married. There weren't any signs of trouble. He out of the blue told me he was unhappy with the relationship - not me, but US as a couple. We did go to counseling and things improved tremendously. We seemed to be making a lot of headway to the point our counselor told us we didn't need to see him so often. Then, out of the blue, he left. That was it. No chance to talk, no chance for anything. I'm distraught to say the least. I'm trying to pick up the pieces, but when your best friend leaves without fair warning or an understandable reason it's hard. Our family and friends were surprised that we were having troubles at all much less to the point that he would want to completely end it.

So, now that you have a little background, here's the question. Can I ask that we be required to go through counseling (individual or joint, I don't care) as a stipulation of the divorce settlement? I know that sometimes judges make couples do it just to make sure every avenue has been exhausted, but can one spouse ask for it?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2007
Sat, 10-13-2007 - 5:32pm

Hi Gypsy -


I have never heard of a situation where you can request counseling, especially if there are no children involved.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2007
Sun, 10-14-2007 - 9:14am

Personally, I would say absolutely! If you've tried everything you can to get him to talk to you (mature route) and he's ignoring you for whatever reason, then you should "assist" him in coming to the table....so there is closure for you...

HUGS