Stress Management Advice, PLEASE!
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| Mon, 02-12-2007 - 12:59am |
Okay, ladies, I really need some help here.
I'm starting to feel overwhelmed by stress and anxiety again.
I'm in school taking 14 units and am having a very hard time keeping up, and taking care of the kids. I pick my daughter up from kindergarten at 12:30 and then my son at 3, which really screws up my study time.
My classes are on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and I have been working on Mon, Wed, and Fridays. That is, until this last week. I was called on Thursday and notified that I will now be on-call, with no guaranteed hours during a given week. This is due to the many days I have missed recently due to my son's health issues.
Which brings me to the next part. My son is having health problems again. It's his kidneys. Something is wrong with them and it's causing him to have high blood pressure, so we're now going to specialists to try to figure out the problem. It seems to be residual effects from an illness he had a few years ago, but we don't know for sure.
I just don't know what to do. My income has now basically been severed, I only get $250 a month for child support, and I'm terrified of losing my house. I have no family to lean on for financial emergencies. I'm just scared.
I can't allow this to undo me. I know I need to keep myself together and calm down, but I feel dangerously close to things falling apart. What do you guys do to keep it together when you feel like things are piling up on you?

Oh honey, I am so sorry. How involved is your X in caring for your children? How involved in the medical issues? I am not sure how anyone could get away with only $250 in monthly child support for two children. Are you getting spousal support? He does realize that if you are in financial jeopardy so are his children, right?
I guess I also do not understand an employer who punishes people for family-related health emergencies, but I know many employers are heartless.
So, I am not giving you comfort. I am sorry and I don't know how to help. At this point would you qualify for welfare (please do not be offended) and the other supplemental programs (WIC and there's another one; can't remember the name); and food stamps? Trust me, if we qualify for those things, I will go get them--we are going to need every penny.
Where is your family? Would it be worth moving? Could you find another job around the same hours you were working that would bring in some money?
Ok, these are just ideas, not really coping mechanisms. I am just So sorry. I hope you get to the bottom of your son's illness! I will say a prayer.
Keep us apprised!
M
My ex is involved with the kids. He did take our son to an unltrasound appointment last week. And he makes sure that DS takes his meds when at his house. But I need to be the one to take my son to the actual doctor because ex and I have trouble communicating, and if he takes him I don't seem to get all the necessary info.
Financially, my ex "tries", but his work is freelance so basically what he's done is decide that he'll pay $250 a month and then he does enough work to earn that money. He doesn't just earn all he can and then we get to base support off that. He does the minimum. In his and his mother's eyes he's a hero because his father and my own never paid child support after both of our parents' divorces.
I probably should/could get welfare, but it kills my pride to do it. I don't want people looking at me like a loser who can't support herself.
As far as family goes, my mother and step-father are deceased. My father and I don't really have a relationship, but he'd help me if I asked. Problem is that he's had a stoke earlier this year and I can't bother him with my financial woes when he has enough of his own.
I know I'll be okay. I'm just hitting another bump in the road that feels like a boulder.
Hey Gwen...
I'm sorry that you're having to deal all of this, all at once... one at a time is bad enough, but all at once, wow... you're doing a great job holding it together...
I wish I had some advice for you--the only thing I've got is the cs thing--I get $500/month for one, so I can't believe that you're getting $250/month for two... and I know your xh may be trying or whatever, but truth is kids are expensive and he needs to work more... isn't cs based on earning potential in cases like this, not actual earnings...
That can be a long drawn out road though, so its not an immediate answer... Like the other poster, I truly think it SUCKS and speaks volumes of an employer who holds family health against an employee--if you don't mind me asking, what do you do for work? Could you find another position in your area? I don't know what else to even suggest, I just am brain dead tonight...
But I will say a prayer for you and yours... to get through this rough spell and for your son's health... do keep us posted!
*hugs*
Julie
I work(ed) in a preschool. I could go get another job, but truthfully I'm hitting the wall.
I was just thinking day before that life would be just that much easier if I could just go to school and not work. Maybe this is supposed to be. I'm going to spend the last part of this week and the begnning of next to see what resources are out there for women in my position.
The cs issue is a sore spot. Ex thinks he's doing me a huge service by giving me the $250 I chase him down for every month. I'm a money grubbing bitch in the eyes of many for not being grateful. I suppose it could be worse. He could pay nothing, but $250 doesn't even feed them for a month. My son is almost 12 and eats like a horse!
Thanks for the support. I'll get through this.
Just like we all do. :-)
I am so sorry this is all hitting you. I would check with social services and see what is available. You have paid taxes for years, now its time to collect on it. Its meant for women like you, to bridge those times when you need help. My niece was able to get help to finish school and get on her feet when she had two little ones and an unemployed ex. They might even go after your stbx, since they don't like dads whose lack of employment is forcing the mothers to seek aid.
M.